Red Hood: Yeah, but… This is… W-What if we… I don’t know, it’s… I don’t know. Shouldn’t we run this by Bruce first?
Robin: Ha! Father would never agree, so I say we just go doit. I bet I could get Kent to sneak into his father’s Fortress of Sadness or whatever and find us something that could help us get there –
Red Hood: *holds up a hand to stop him* Little D, I get it. I died, you died, yet we’re both standing here. A crisis rebooting our universe is basically just Tuesday for all of us. But this? We’re talking other universe-universe. Like, an outside-of-our-entire-freakin’-Multiverse universe, like even Mr. Mxyzptlk –
Nightwing: Jason’s got a point. None of us has ever gone that far. We didn’t even know it existed before this message from… @vecino-amigable-aracnido-jr., who seems to be some kind of… Spiderman.
Red Robin: *clears his throat* That’s not… completely true.
Nightwing: What do you mean?
Red Robin: *whips out his phone and scrolls past about a hundred folders full of photos and case files before reaching one requiring a retinal scan to unlock*
Red Robin: *sighs deeply and aligns his eyes to the scanner*
Red Robin: You jerks better promise me you won’t judge me.
Red Robin:
Nightwing: …
Red Hood: …
Robin: …
To be continued?
Struggling too much? *jumps off the ceiling* then here,have a mazapán *toss one mazapán to each bat kid*
Red Hood: *checking out the mazapán he just caught* What the – *looks up at the ceiling, then at @vecino-amigable-aracnido-jr, then back at the ceiling* Where –
Nightwing: *grinning at @vecino-amigable-aracnido-jr, impressed and about to bite into the mazapán* Nice landing. And thanks for this.
Robin: *grabs the mazapán from Dick’s hand* -Tt- You should know better than to just accept sweets from otherworldly strangers, Grayson.
@vecino-amigable-aracnido-jr: *throws another mazapán at Dick, who single-handedly catches it without looking*
Nightwing: *pops the candy into his mouth* That’s only applies when you haven’t tried them, Little D. They’re, as they say, delicioso. Jessica C hands ‘em out during Justice League lunches.
Red Hood: *examining the treat* Why do I feel like I’ve tried these before, but like, they’re called marzap – mirzi –
Batwoman: *walks out of the shadows*
Red Hoodand Batwoman: Marzipan!
Red Hood: Kate, how did you –
Batwoman: I’m not sure, Jasón – Did I just call you Jasón?
Nightwing [to @vecino-amigable-aracnido-jr]: *rolls his eyes* Don’t worry about them. They’re just having some kind of flashback of an alternate reality or something.
Red Robin: *slow-clapping sarcastically* Good job revealing our secret identities, team. Keep it up.
Robin: *yelling from across the room* Oh, that one’s name is “Loser Drake”!
Red Robin: Are you done being “mature”, Damian? ‘Cause I really think we should start figuring out what’s what before Batman arrives.
To be continued…
Tim: *turns on his boombox and tunes it to an 80s pop music station*
Tim: *gets up on the table and starts dancing the “running man”*
Bruce:
Dick:
Babs:
Jason:
Steph:
Cass:
Damian: -Tt-
Duke:
Alfred:
Tim: I’m rocking so much adrenaline right now! My blood is basically Red Bull!
Alfred: *nods at Jason*
Jason: *tackles Tim in the middle of the “cabbage patch”*
Alfred: *waits for the table to be cleared of his grandsons, then lays out breakfast entrèes for everyone*
– • – • – • – • –
Good morning from the Manor!
When your little brother’s grounded from patrolling but Batman left you to babysit so you have to bring him with you at all times…
Robin: *sulking* I have to be in the car alone?
Red Hood: *sighhhhhhhhhs*
Red Hood: Would you rather be in the building with the gun-toting drug dealers?
Robin: Kent, have I ever put you in an unsafe situation?
Superboy: *sprinting across the craters on Apokolips with Damian on his back as they try to get away from a fire-breathing monster* All the time!
Robin: Then you should be used to it!
– • – • – • – • –
Guess who’s grounded?
Robin: Thanks for saving me out there today.
Superboy: 😀 Damian, are we becoming friends?
Robin: -Tt- Now you ruined it!
Driving away from a monster attacking Gotham City be like…
Nightwing: *looking through the rear window of the Batmobile* Uh, guys –
Red Robin: *sitting next to Dick, desperately trying to gain remote control of the Batjet using his communicator*
Robin: *riding shotgun* -Tt- You were picked for a reason, Todd! You’re supposed to be our reckless driver!
Red Hood: *about to drive the Batmobile through a burning building* I’m driving as recklessly as I can!
When your little brother’s a tattletale who hasn’t quite gotten the hang of common expressions just yet…
Red Robin: *looking at his communicator and panicking at the sight of Batman’s face flashing on the screen*
Red Robin: Arghhh! Brat, you let the cat out of the freakin’ bag!
Robin:
Robin: Cats shouldn’t be in a bag in the first place, Drake. Bags are a terrible place for cats.
incorrect-batfamily-quotes 