Red Hood [to Red Robin and Robin]: The two of you agreeing with each other? Now, that’s scary.
Tag: grumpy old kid
Gotham City, 10 PM…
Robin: *sitting on a gargoyle atop the Wayne Enterprises tower, scrolling through the incorrect-batfamily-quotes Tumblr page on his phone*
Robin: -Tt-
Robin: *scoffs* What childish nonsense! I do not talk like that. Drake, on the other hand –
Robin:
Robin: What the…
Robin: Haaaaa – *breaks out in maniacal laughter*
Nightwing: *somersaults from a dark corner, escrima sticks lighted* Stand down, Robin!
Red Hood: *runs out of the stairwell and onto the rooftop, guns cocked* No need to go crazy there, kid!
Red Robin: *lands onto the rooftop and folds his “wings” behind him, bo staff at the ready* Wait till Batman hears of –
Robin: *wheezing*
Nightwing: Where’s… ? *looking around, utterly confused*
Robin: *wiping gleeful tears from his eyes* Where’s what, Grayson?
Red Robin: Don’t act dumb! The villain you were harrassing! Where are they, brat?!
Robin: …
Red Hood: Look, D, I may be the black sheep of the family and probably not the best example, but the use of excessive force –
Robin: *drags his hand down his face in annoyance* Shut. Up.
Robin: *shows them his phone*
His brothers: *dumbfounded*
Robin: Ridiculous, right? Ha ha ha.
~ • ~ • ~ • ~
Little D may find it hilarious, but I’m… Wow.
It’s quite surreal, especially since I’ve been standing on the shoulders of both professional and amateur writers whose content have inspired me to come up with context for their work (and eventually my own).
Thank you for supporting this blog. Thank you for inspiring me and laughing with me.
Hugs,
a-wayne-at-heart/incorrect-batfamily-quotes
When you’re stranded in the middle of wherever and calling your family’s all you’ve got…
Red Robin: What.
Red Hood [on the Comm Link]: Timbo, hey, shut up. I need you to wire me a thousand dollars.
Red Robin: Wow.
Red Hood: Yeah.
Red Robin: No.
Red Hood: Yes!
Red Robin: No!
Red Hood: Oh, for – Then just lemme talk to Babs!
Oracle: Absolutely not. Huh? Because pick any one of an infinite number of reasons! Yeah, okay, hang on…
Spoiler: Mmmmyeah, no, I would, but Cass and I can’t really leave the mall at the moment… But I can transfer you…
Lark: No, I seriously thought you were joking. Yeah, hang on…
Robin: *sinister laughter*
Red Hood: Okay. Okay! Lemme talk to Dick!
Red Hood: Dick?! Dick, listen, I –
Nightwing: Noop.
Red Hood: – need you to –
Nightwing: Noop.
Red Hood: Stop saying “noop”!
Nightwing: Noop, Jason. Noop. And it’s gonna sound like I’m hanging up, but — *static*
Stranded in a swamp…
Red Robin: Why are you so scared of crocodiles?
Red Hood: Gee, I don’t know, Tim. Maybe deep down, I’m afraid of any apex predator that lived through the K-T extinction.
Red Robin: The…?
Red Hood: Physically unchanged for 100 million years, because it’s the perfect killing machine – a half-ton of cold-blooded fury, with a bite force of 20,000 Newtons, and stomach acid so strong it can dissolve bones and hooves. And now we’re surrounded, those snake-eyes are watching from the shadows, waiting for the night –
Nightwing: ♪ Waiting for the night! ♪
Robin: Damn it, Grayson!
Nightwing: ♪ Ooh-hoo! ♪
Red Hood: Keep your voice down!
Nightwing: Why?! Crocodiles don’t have ears!
Red Hood: They absolutely have ears, dickhead!
They can probably play this game for hours
So incorrect yet correct at the same time. I really enjoyed this one.
Sneaking into a criminal mastermind’s lair on a remote island be like…
Superboy: *shudders* Creepy.
Robin: I don’t know… Add more bats and a dinosaur and this is my father’s cave.
Robin [to Superboy]: Do you just walk around all day thinking about other people’s feelings? How do you get anything done?
At the safe house…
Doorbell: *buzzes*
Jason: *sighs* It’s Morse code. It’s Damian.
Roy: How do you know?
Jason: Because the doorbell just said, “It’s me, morons”.
Mornings at the Manor…
Tim: *drinking his twelfth cup of coffee* If Jerry the Turkey didn’t belong in the oven, then why did he fit?
~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~
In which Dick and Jason race to save their little brother’s beloved pet (lest the War of the Century begin in the Wayne household).
Nightwing [on the Comm Link]: *on his motorcycle, tailing them* Did you two just push Tim out of the moving Batmobile and yell, “You’re out of the team”?!
Red Hood: Now, in hindsight, that does seem kind of rash.
Robin: *pulling into a Batburger drive-through* It was kind of a snap decision.
incorrect-batfamily-quotes 