When your father and grandfather leave you and your brothers alone at the Manor…
Damian: *sees “52 missed calls” on his cellphone screen*
Damian: -Tt-
Damian: How irresponsible do they think we are?
Jason: *shrugs* Sometimes Alfred leaves me pictures of food instead of a shopping list.
Tag: grumpy old kid
In their top secret, high-tech, steel-walled treehouse…
Robin: *taking a gadget apart* Because whoever sent this thing is trouble.
Superboy: You don’t know that, Damian! They could’ve been nice!
Robin: Nice? No. A nice person says, “Hey, guys! Nice treehouse! Here’s a pound cake”. They don’t plant a freakin’ camera at our front door doing recon on us, Kent.
~ • ~ • ~ • ~
The lengths your older brothers’ll go to keep an eye on you.
Bruce: I was just thinking, when my time comes –
Dick: Bruce!
Damian: Father!
Bruce: Listen to me. When my time comes, I want to be buried at sea.
Tim: You what?
Bruce: I want to be buried at sea. It looks like fun.
Jason: Define “fun”.
~ • ~ • ~ • ~
Also, you might want to have a word with Arthur about that.
Batman: *discussing the do’s and don’ts for an upcoming mission*
Red Hood [to The Signal]: *whispering* Don’t worry about it, man.
Red Hood: *gestures to his brothers and to himself* You’re kind of like a Robin now. We make our own rules.
Nightwing: *winks*
Red Robin: *grins*
Robin: *salutes*
~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~
Bros before… broody, mood-killing, adoptive fathers clad in leather.
At the Gotham City Comic Con…
Nightwing, Red Hood, Red Robin, and Robin: *in their superhero uniforms*
Duke: *blinks*
Duke: Either this is a mission, or you guys are really good at hiding your hobbies.
And the “Big Brother of the Year” Award goes to…
Dick: *baking cookies (Alfred’s recipe)*
Jason: *playing with Titus*
Damian: *arrives from Gotham High*
Damian: *slams his suitcase on the kitchen island*
Dick: …
Jason: …
Damian: *takes a seat on a stool, buries his face in his hands, and groans*
Dick: Soooo… How’s school?
Damian: *muffled* Okay.
Dick: Anything noteworthy happen?
Damian: *muffled* No.
Jason: *throws his hands up in the air* I thought you said he got dumped!
Dick: *through gritted teeth* I was easing into it.
Jason: Oh. Okay, go ahead.
~ • ~ • ~ • ~
It’s tie.
Rescuing your brother be like…
Robin: *successfully hacks into the mainframe and shuts down the forcefield that trapped Tim*
Red Robin: *smirks* You came back for me. You love me.
Robin: I pity you.
Jason [to Damian, about Tim]: He’s acting like the impression of him we do behind his back.
When your faux fiancée won’t believe how nosy your siblings can be…
Tim [to Tam]: As soon as we touch, the blinds will open, and three annoying, but lovable, misfits will be staring at us.
~ • ~ • ~ • ~
And one creepy, but loveable, Batdad will be spying through binoculars from three rooftops away.
Mornings at the Manor…
Alfred: *decorating pancakes with whipped butter and blueberries*
Dick: *eating cereal while doing a one-armed handstand*
Jason: *throwing bacon bits at Dick’s face*
Tim: *enters the kitchen*
Damian: What’s that smell? *sniffs the room*
Everyone else: *stops to sniff*
Damian: Smells like sweat and anger and shame.
Tim: *with dark rings under his eyes*
Tim: *pours coffee onto the wrong end of his mug*
Tim: *sighs* Yep.
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