Tag: grumpy old kid

incorrect-batfamily-quotes:

Mornings at the Manor…

Jason: *whistling while turning on the stove and beating eggs in a bowl*

Red Robin: *comes in through the kitchen window, bruised, tattered, and dripping blood*

Red Robin: Jay! I lost Damian! What am I going to do?!

Jason: Uhhhh. Don’t worry. Don’t worry. *looks around the kitchen in panic* Know what I’m going to do? I’m going to make you an omelet.

Red Robin: Just help me look for him!

Jason: Are you sure? I make ‘em with four kinds of cheese.

incorrect-batfamily-quotes:

Damian [on the Comm Link]: Todd, I broke my last saxophone reed, and I need you to get me a new one.

Red Hood: *reloading his guns while hiding behind barrels as bullets whizz past him* Uh, isn’t this the kind of thing Alfred’s better at?

Damian: I called him. He’s not home. I also tried Father, Grayson, Drake, Brown, Thomas, and the Commissioner, Barbara’s father.

Red Hood: *twisting a criminal’s arm and throwing another across the wall* Wow, and after them, out of all the people in the world, you chose me.

incorrect-batfamily-quotes:

Mornings at the Manor…

Tim and Damian: *bickering at the breakfast table*

Bruce: Quiet, you two! If I hear one more word, Tim doesn’t get to drink coffee and Damian doesn’t get to go on patrol.

Tim: Bruce!

Damian: Father!

Bruce: Not. One. Word.

Tim and Damian: *start insulting each other by lightly tapping spoons and banging salt and pepper shakers*

Bruce: I thought I told you two to knock it off.

Tim: We didn’t say anything!

Damian: Not one word!

Bruce: Well, no Morse code either.

incorrect-batfamily-quotes:

Teaching your older brother an ancient form of meditation sacred to a line of assassins be like…

Damian: I want you to shut off the logical part of your mind.

Jason: Okay.

Damian: Embrace nothingness.

Jason: You got it.

Damian: Become like an uncarved stone.

Jason: Done.

Damian: Todd! You’re just pretending to know what I’m talking about!

Jason: True.

Damian: -Tt- It’s very frustrating!

Jason: I’ll bet.

incorrect-batfamily-quotes:

Mornings at the Batcave…

Tim: *downing a cup of espresso* Okay, we all know why we’re here, right?

Dick: *still in just boxer shorts, yawning and shaking his head*

Jason: *groans* No. Why?

Tim: To fight Damian, the bully. That tiny tween has been tormenting all of us for years, and I for one am sick of it! I can’t promise you victory. I can’t promise you good times. But the one thing I do know –

Dick and Jason: *head back to the Manor*

Tim: Whoa! Whoa! I promise you victory! I promise you good times!

incorrect-batfamily-quotes:

When Tim met Damian (an alternative version)…

Damian: *spots Tim sleeping by the Batcomputer* -Tt-

Damian: *nudges him* Wake up.

Tim: *wide-eyed and looking around the Batcave in a panic*

Tim: *wiping slobber off his face* Who in the world are you?

Damian: I’m your new brother.

Tim: Are you from the orphanage or do I really not undersand how babies are born?

~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~

But you do understand how Robins work, right?

incorrect-batfamily-quotes:

Red Hood: Hey, @shywritersblogsworld , you know what else gives you life? The Lazaru–

Robin: *shoves Jason out of the way* Lame! Try using a Chaos Sha–

Red Robin: Well, there’s also teleporting.

Red Hood and Robin: *slowly turn their heads towards Tim and glare at him*

Red Hood: You did not just say what I thought you said.

Robin: That. Doesn’t. Count. Drake.

Red Robin: But I –

Red Hood: Didn’t actually die!

Robin: *fist-bumps Jason* Thank you, Todd!

Red Robin: I just cannot catch a break with you guys!

Nightwing: *listening to his younger brothers bickering* You know what? I’m not even gonna… Let’s just get out of here. *puts an arm around @shywritersblogsworld and leads them out of the room*

~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~

Thank you, @shywritersblogsworld ! Thanks for dropping by!

incorrect-batfamily-quotes:

Mornings at the Manor…

Tim: I’m losing my mind, guys. I sometimes touch the frayed part of the power cord just to feel something.

Alfred: *swiftly takes a step to the side to hide a frayed wire jutting from the kitchen wall*

Jason: *carefully pries the mug of espresso off Tim’s pale, trembling fingers*

Damian: *stealthily moves the butter knife away from Tim’s grasp*

Dick: *grabs Tim’s face and buries it on his chest in a tight hug*

Bruce: *closes the Gotham Gazette, stands up, then fireman-carries his heavily sleep-deprived son up to his room*