Raising the Robins…
Bruce: Alfred, I know he’s a teenager, but is he suppose to hate me this fast?
Tag: grumpy old kid
Three days before Robin’s birthday party…
Kid Flash: I hear Damian’s party will have double fudge brownies!
Beast Boy: But it will also have Damian.
Trying to be useful in the Batcave be like…
Robin: *working on the Batcomputer*
Spoiler: *making popping noises with her mouth*
Robin: Brown.
Robin: -Tt-
Spoiler: Damiaaaaaaan, is there anything else I can do?
Robin: *sighs*
Robin: See those case files on Drake’s desk?
Spoiler: Mm-hmm?
Robin: Go put them in random order.
Damian [to Jon]: The only way to stop a bully is to stand up to him. Trust me, I’ve bullied a lot of people.
Dick: *knocks on Damian’s bedroom door*
Dick: Little D, hey, I just came up to see what you were doing.
Dick: And maybe stop you.
Patrol gone awry…
Robin: *angrily stomps into the Batcave*
Red Robin: *wearily takes off his combat boots*
Red Hood: *has a leather jacket tug-of-war with Ace the Bathound*
Nightwing: So… What happened out there?
Robin: Chalk that one up to Tweedle Dumb and Tweedle Douche over there.
Nightwing: Who’re they?
Red Robin and Robin: They’re both Jason.
house cat scares off bear
IMAGINE: Bizarro coming to pick Jon up at the Wayne Manor when Damian’s not done playing with him yet.
(Superman, busy fighting aliens in space, had called in a favor.)
damian wayne: father, may I go outside and play?
bruce wayne: play? in this weather? with all that blue sky and sunshine?
Bruce: *still in his Batman suit, having just arrived from patrol, hissing as Alfred draws the kitchen curtains to let the sunshine in* Are you sure you’re up for it, son?
Damian: Jon’s waiting for me outside. He’s flying me to Metropolis.
Bruce: *fumbling with his utility belt* Here, bring some of this suncreen that just came out of R&D. There’s something about the sunshine in that place, might explain why Clark’s getting stronger. While you’re there, perhaps you could collect some solar energy –
Damian: *slamming the door as he exits the Manor* Byyyye, Father!
~ • ~ • ~ • ~
This reminds me of that spread in a Superman/Batman issue where Clark takes over for Bruce in Gotham while the latter is conducting an investigation in Metropolis and we’re given an insight into what they really think of each other’s city. And it’s almost as if Batman is horrified by how bright and smog-free Metropolis is. I love that spread.
At the start of the training sessions in the “Robin War” story arc…
Agent 37: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Robin Club. The first rule of Robin Club is: you do not talk about Robin Club.
Red Hood: The second rule of Robin Club is: you do not talk about Robin Club.
Red Robin: The third rule of Robin Club: someone yells “stop”, goes limp, taps out, the fight is over.
Agent 37: The fourth rule: only two Robins to a fight. The fifth rule: one fight at a time, guys and gals. The sixth rule: no shirts, no shoes. The seventh rule: fights will go on as long as they have to.
Robin: And the eighth and final rule: if this is your first night at Robin Club, you have to fight.
Robin: -Tt-
Tim: I want to tell you my secret now.
Conner: Okay…
Tim: I see dead people.
Conner: …
Conner: In your dreams? While you’re awake? Dead people, like, in graves, in coffins?
Tim: Walking around like regular people.
~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~
Okay, first of all, those’re just Jason and Damian walking around the Manor. Secondly, GET SOME SLEEP, Timothy.
incorrect-batfamily-quotes 