Every time someone comments about his age…
Damian: I could be drinking from a juice box and still kick your ass.
Tag: grumpy old kid
Peace time at Gotham City be like…
Dick: *sighs*
Damian: *yawns* – Tt –
Tim: *searches for “shark-repellent Bat-spray” on Amazon.com*
Jason: *stretches muscles, then lays back down on couch*
Dick: Gotta save someone.
Tim: Know the feeling.
Robin: *yelling from two rooftops away* I know where you live!
Red Robin: *yelling back* And I live where you live!
~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~
This is not how you threaten each other, boys, but carry on…
Red Robin: @paranoidmedic, ha! Like that one time when Bruce said –
Red Hood: Tim, don’t you DARE –
Red Robin: – “I – ”
Red Hood: *tackles Tim to the ground*
Red Robin: *struggling to speak while being smothered by Jason’s letter jacket* Bru- Bruce s-s-said – Jason, get orfff –
Red Hood: You shut your pie hole!
Robin: Father told him he loved him.
Nightwing: In the middle of an argument. It was touching, really.
Robin: Todd stopped moving.
Red Robin: *sputtering* O-or b-breath-breathing, as if died aga– Ow, Jay! –
Nightwing: I think he’s afraid that Bruce’s going to surprise him with affection again.
Robin: -Tt- It is kind of hard to tell with Father’s tone.
Red Hood: *screams in agony*
Batman:
Martian Manhunter:
Batman:
Martian Manhunter: *frowning*
Batman:
Martian Manhunter: *glares at Bruce, flips his cape, and storms out, looking offended*
Batman: J’onn, hold on, what –
Batman: Can’t a man think in private anymore?
Batman: Barry, could you –
The Flash: It wasn’t me, I swear! *runs away*
Batman: About Gotham Bay, Arthur –
Aquaman: I am not in the mood, Bruce. *swims away*
Batman:
Batman: Hrrn.
Superman: *standing next to Bruce* 😏
Batman: -Tt-
Batman: Go ahead, Clark. Fly away.
Superman: Noooope.
Batman: Ugh. *walks away*
Superman: Right, @dangerous-doodle ?
Superman: *throws his hands up in exasperation* Thank you, @hillshollow !
Batman: Hn.
Superman: Just this morning, at breakfast, for crying out loud! *imitating Bruce’s voice* “Clark, pass the ketchup.” Tone. “Jordan, you seem to enjoy eating garbage.” Tone. “Diana –” Well, you did dial it down for that one.
Batman: *puffing out his chest and putting his hands on his hips* And this is necessary at all times?
Superman:
Superman: *eyes glowing red* ARGH! *walks out of the hall*
Superman: There’s just no winning with you, Bruce!
Batman:
Batman: *smirks*
I imagine ‘that tone’ is Bruce’s usual voice…🤔
When your bestfriend accuses you of unnecessarily intimidating someone…
Superman: You say I have a face.
Batman: *scoffs*
Superman: You have a tone, and it says, “I’m gonna hit somebody.”
Mar’i: *cradling a dead bird and sobbing*
Jason: I’ve been through this before, Sweetheart. When your Uncle Damian was fourteen, I was supposed to take care of his parakeet. It got out and flew into a fan. It was like a bloody pillow fight.
Mar’i: DAAAADDDDYYY!!!
~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~
In which Dick (reluctantly) reconsiders caffeine-addicted Uncle Tim for babysitting.
Torn apart furniture. Food and some sort of ink (or is that blood?) smeared all over the walls and carpets. A scorched living room ceiling. Tim tries to explain what happened to a visiting Conner…
Tim: It would take hours to explain the psychology of this event, so I’ll just simplify.
Tim: *points at Damian* “Dynamite”.
Tim: *points at Jason* “Kid with matches”.
Post-traning session at the Manor…
Nightwing: *trying to catch his breath and wiping sweat off his face*
Red Hood: *examining his broken helmet while holding an ice pack against his temple*
Red Robin: *throwing his halved bo staff into the fireplace*
Nightwing [to Robin]: In everyone’s defense, I think the most worthy opponent of yours is… you.
~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~
Well, since your sisters were out shopping during this whole ordeal, one cannot say that with absolute certainty.
When Batman tucks you in…
Damian: …
Damian: Pennyworth.
Damian: Could you loosen my blanket a little? Father tucked me in too tight and it’s cutting off the circulation in my arms and legs.
Meanwhile, somewhere in Kansas…
Lois: *walks out of the room*
Jon: …
Jon: *shifts uncomfortably in his bed*
Jon: Mom?
Jon: Mom! Moooooooooooom!
Jon: *stares at the glowing, green blanket wrapped snuggly around him*
Jon: *stares at the ceiling and sighs in resignation*
~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~
Kryptonite-fiber blanket courtesy of Wayne Industries.
Damian: Hey, how about you both stop with this nonsense and –
Jon: HELP U–
Me: *closing both their bedroom doors* Oh, don’t mind them. Waaay past their bedtime. You’re welcome, @warrior-of-the-blue-moon !
When Batman tucks you in…
Damian: …
Damian: Pennyworth.
Damian: Could you loosen my blanket a little? Father tucked me in too tight and it’s cutting off the circulation in my arms and legs.
Meanwhile, somewhere in Kansas…
Lois: *walks out of the room*
Jon: …
Jon: *shifts uncomfortably in his bed*
Jon: Mom?
Jon: Mom! Moooooooooooom!
Jon: *stares at the glowing, green blanket wrapped snuggly around him*
Jon: *stares at the ceiling and sighs in resignation*
~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~
Kryptonite-fiber blanket courtesy of Wayne Industries.
When Batman tucks you in…
Damian: …
Damian: Pennyworth.
Damian: Could you loosen my blanket a little? Father tucked me in too tight and it’s cutting off the circulation in my arms and legs.
Maybe he’s trying to keep you from sneaking out and going to Kent Farm at 3 AM again? *shrugs*
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