Imagine: one actor, four Robins…
French actor and model Gaspard Ulliel as (clockwise from top left) Dick, Jason, Tim, and (grown-up) Damian.
Tag: grumpy old kid
When Batman tucks you in…
Damian: …
Damian: Pennyworth.
Damian: Could you loosen my blanket a little? Father tucked me in too tight and it’s cutting off the circulation in my arms and legs.
Meanwhile, somewhere in Kansas…
Lois: *walks out of the room*
Jon: …
Jon: *shifts uncomfortably in his bed*
Jon: Mom?
Jon: Mom! Moooooooooooom!
Jon: *stares at the glowing, green blanket wrapped snuggly around him*
Jon: *stares at the ceiling and sighs in resignation*
~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~
Kryptonite-fiber blanket courtesy of Wayne Industries.
Damian: Hey, how about you both stop with this nonsense and –
Jon: HELP U–
Me: *closing both their bedroom doors* Oh, don’t mind them. Waaay past their bedtime. You’re welcome, @warrior-of-the-blue-moon !
Why you don’t hide Damian’s things…
Damian: *wearing his Robin uniform in the kitchen*
Dick: *chokes on his cereal*
Jason: *pinches his nose to stifle his laughter*
Tim: What the f…
Damian: Perhaps I’m not making myself clear here. This is a threat.
Entering Robin’s room be like…
Jason: *whispering* It’s quiet.
Tim: *hissing* Of course it’s quiet. It’s a trap.
Damian: *a pair of narrowed eyes in the shadows*
And yet.
At a Batfamily meeting…
Red Robin: I found a cold case of ours that everyone foolishly said was unsolvable. Case 52ABX-32QJ.
Red Hood: Timbers, case 52ABX-32QJ is unsolvable.
Red Robin: *wiggling his eyebrows* Or maybe case 52ABX-32QJ is waiting for someone to de-unsolve it.
Nightwing: What’s case 52ABX-32QJ?
Robin: Case 52ABX… -Tt- We have to find a way to abbreviate this thing.
On the run…
Red Hood [to Robin, about Titus]: I don’t want that dog dribbling on my seats.
Red Robin: Your seats? Jason, this is a stolen car, man.
When a supervillain breaks into Wayne Manor (somehow)…
Robin: *stands in between the villain and Nightwing, Red Hood, Red Robin, Alfred, and Titus*
Robin: I don’t want anything to happen –
Nightwing: *heart flutters*
Robin: – to the dog.
Jon: You know, I’ve been thinking about asking my parents for a dog.
Damian: *hugs Titus tighter* He’s not a dog. He’s a hero.
Jason: *leans on the wall beside the refrigerator while watching a frowning Damian slowly take out an emptied paper bag labeled “Blood Son” from it*
Jason: Ah, there it is. The classic Damian Wayne look of query and frustration, mixed with a dash of “someone is gonna pay for this".
~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~
And whoever dared eat the tofu he’s been saving better hide and hide fast.
Damian [to Bruce]: Father, I have this theory that Drake purposely installs complicated technology so he has a reason to talk to me like I’m a child.
incorrect-batfamily-quotes 