Tag: grumpy old kid

incorrect-batfamily-quotes:

At the safe house…

Doorbell: *buzzes*

Jason: *sighs* It’s Morse code. It’s Damian.

Roy: How do you know?

Jason: Because the doorbell just said, “It’s me, morons”.  

Roy: *heads to the door* I’ll get it –

Jason: *holds him back and shushes him* No, no. Wait for it.

Doorbell: *buzz buzz … buzz buzz buzz*

Roy: What? Why? Might be the pizza.

Jason: Shh shh. Trust me.

Doorbell: *buzzzzz*

Roy: Jay –

Doorbell: *buuuuzzzz buzz buzz*

Jason: Hey, want some breakfast?

Roy: Dude, the door –

Jason: *grabs him and leads him to the kitchen* Come on, I’ll make pancakes.

~ ~ ~ 30 minutes later ~ ~ ~

Doorbell: *BUZZZZZZZZZ*

Jason: *chuckling* Ha. Knew it.

Roy: *burps* We’re really just gonna ignore that?

Jason: *wiping his mouth* It’s Morse code. It’s Damian.

~ • ~ • ~ • ~

Let’s just say Jason wanted to hear everything Damian had to say first, @remakethestars .

As a kid I attempted to ship my sister to Egypt. Even tricked her into getting into the box. The only thing stopping me was a lack of stamps and adults taking me seriously. How many times do you think any of the BatKids tried something like that to each other?

Me: Here’s the thing… We’re talking about the Batkids here… They’ve got the brains, the resources, the gall, and an adoptive father who’s basically just stopped caring after the nth successful atte–

Dick: *from one end of the hall, talking on the phone* Uh, yes, is this Wayne Airlines? Yeah, I’m calling regarding a box that’s currently on one of your flights. It should be big enough to fit a teenager. Uh, yeah, hold on *covers the mouthpiece* Jason, which flight was it?

Jason: *yelling from the other end of the hall* Over my dead-again body, Dick.

Dick: *on the phone* Yeah, um, can you give me just a second?

Dick: *heads over to Damian on the other side of the room* Little D, come on, I need to know where Tim is before Bruce gets home.

Damian: *painting a portrait of Titus* Two words, Grayson. Social. Distancing.

Jason: *yelling* He’s finally getting uninterrupted sleep, Dickie!

Dick: You can’t keep sending Tim overseas for that reason –

Damian: That’s true, that’s why we send him for other reasons, too –

Jason: Shhhh!!! Alfred’s coming!

Dick: That’s it. I’m tell– *gets tackled to the ground by Damian*

Jason: *picks up the phone* Uh, yeah, sorry about that. Turns out I had the wrong airline. K, thanks, bye!

Me: So, um, yeah, @rosebloodwater .

velvetsoftlips:

incorrect-batfamily-quotes:

When the Teen Titans won’t take your leadership seriously…

Robin: *storming out of the Tower conference room* I’ll show them who’s “just a kid”!

Nightwing: *yelling from across the hall* Damian, bedtime! I laid out your jammy-jams!

i love them

Nightwing: *hugging Damian tightly with his arms and legs* We love each other, too!

Robin: *squirming and smothered by Dick’s chest* Gerrrhimoffme @velvetsoftlips !!!

incorrect-batfamily-quotes:

Dick: Cass is killing me! I’m telling you, I cannot beat this woman no matter what I try. She’s like a ninja, but worse.

Tim: Nothing’s worse than a ninja. They’re masters of every style of combat.

Damian: Can we please talk about something other than Cain?

Barbara: I think you should give Cass a break. You know, it’s really hard being a woman around here. You can walk through walls and nobody notices you.

Jason: Not entirely unlike a… ninja.

incorrect-batfamily-quotes:

During that time Tim was so upset that Dick picked Damian over him to be Robin…

Tim: And you know what else? I quit!

Dick: No, you don’t!

Tim: Well, I’m leaving early today!

Dick: No, you’re not! You’re coming back to the Batcave to do busy work!

Tim: Fine, but I’m getting coffee first!

Dick: *sighs*

a-wayne-at-heart:

Damian: Drake.

Tim: Brat. The bet ends today. Are you ready?

Damian: I was born ready.

Tim: To lose? The whole question was, “Are you ready to lose?” and you said you were born that way.

Damian: Twist my words all you want.

Tim: Okay.

Damian: I’m winning this bet.

Jason: What bet? What’re you guys talking about?

Dick: Seriously? The bet? They’ve been keeping score all year. It comes up all the time. What are you doin’ all day?

Jason: Nothin’. Why, you wanna hang out?

incorrect-batfamily-quotes:

Bruce being suspiciously… relaxed…

Dick: *watches as Alfred heads back to the kitchen carrying an empty softdrink bottle* What’s going on?

Dick: *spots Bruce sitting on a loveseat by the fireplace* Aha! What are you doing?

Bruce: Nothing. *pops the bottle cap off with just his index finger* Just enjoying a taste of my favorite beverage, the soda pop.

Jason: *feigns shock* Really? I have never seen you enjoy soda pop before.

Bruce: Hn.

Tim: *narrows his eyes* Have some now.

Bruce: *takes a sip* Ah, it’s delicious.

Damian: I don’t buy it, Father! You’re making the same face you made when you found Alfred’s chocolate chip cookie bits in your trail mix.

Dick: Something’s up. I’m patting you down. *proceeds to do just that, Officer Grayson-style*

Dick: Darn it, nothing but a non-surprisingly toned set of abs.

It’s 10 AM on a Sunday, kids. Give your father a break.

incorrect-batfamily-quotes:

When your little brother’s just a little too attached to his pets…

Damian: *enters the Batcave carrying Alfred the Cat and pulling Batcow by a leash*

Damian: Can you take a cat and a cow to the theater? 

Jason: Uhhh, no?

Tim: Of course not.

Damian: Okay. I just wanted them to hear it from somebody else.