The Batboys discussing how to save Batman, who’s being held captive by Bane…
Red Hood: Don’t worry about me, I’m –
Nightwing: – not going on another stupid rampage!
Red Hood: Well, maybe a limited rampage.
Nightwing: No!
Red Hood: Modified limited rampage?
Red Robin: *runs hand through face in frustration* Jason.
Robin: *strapping on a variety of weapons and explosives on his body*
Robin: Don’t worry about our methods.
On an overloaded plane over the Atlantic Ocean…
Nightwing: Hello? Time’s a bit of a factor here!
Red Hood: Tim, for the love of bats, man, jump!
Red Robin: Just throw out the kryptonite!
Red Hood: What?! No! I’m not telling Bruce I lost the original hundred pounds of –
Nightwing and Red Robin: Kilos!
Red Hood: Whatever unit of measurement – of kryptonite! Plus, all this kryptonite! Do you have any idea how pissed he’d be?
Nightwing: Well, the alternative is a belly-landing in a swamp filled with alligators!
Red Hood: No. No, no, no. No. What if, um…
Red Robin: Jason! Alligators or Bruce!
Red Hood: What’s the difference?! They’re both cold-blooded prehistoric monsters!
Stranded in a swamp…
Red Robin: Why are you so scared of crocodiles?
Red Hood: Gee, I don’t know, Tim. Maybe deep down, I’m afraid of any apex predator that lived through the K-T extinction.
Red Robin: The…?
Red Hood: Physically unchanged for 100 million years, because it’s the perfect killing machine – a half-ton of cold-blooded fury, with a bite force of 20,000 Newtons, and stomach acid so strong it can dissolve bones and hooves. And now we’re surrounded, those snake-eyes are watching from the shadows, waiting for the night –
Nightwing: ♪ Waiting for the night! ♪
Robin: Damn it, Grayson!
Nightwing: ♪ Ooh-hoo! ♪
Red Hood: Keep your voice down!
Nightwing: Why?! Crocodiles don’t have ears!
Red Hood: They absolutely have ears, dickhead!
When you’re stranded in the middle of wherever and calling your family’s all you’ve got…
Red Robin: What.
Red Hood [on the Comm Link]: Timbo, hey, shut up. I need you to wire me a thousand dollars.
Red Robin: Wow.
Red Hood: Yeah.
Red Robin: No.
Red Hood: Yes!
Red Robin: No!
Red Hood: Oh, for – Then just lemme talk to Babs!
Oracle: Absolutely not. Huh? Because pick any one of an infinite number of reasons! Yeah, okay, hang on…
Spoiler: Mmmmyeah, no, I would, but Cass and I can’t really leave the mall at the moment… But I can transfer you…
Lark: No, I seriously thought you were joking. Yeah, hang on…
Robin: *sinister laughter*
Red Hood: Okay. Okay! Lemme talk to Dick!
Red Hood: Dick?! Dick, listen, I –
Nightwing: Noop.
Red Hood: – need you to –
Nightwing: Noop.
Red Hood: Stop saying “noop”!
Nightwing: Noop, Jason. Noop. And it’s gonna sound like I’m hanging up, but — *static*
Breaking into a top secret facility…
Red Hood: *making snarky comments as they sneak past every guard*
Red Robin: Wait, here’s an idea: You talk louder, and maybe they’ll just come to us.
Red Hood: We’d lose the element of surprise, Timbo.
Red Robin: That was sarcasm!
Red Hood: No way, really? Because so was that, just now!
Infiltrating a top secret government facility…
Red Robin: What’s taking so long?!
Red Hood: Couple things. One, I didn’t invent whatever this door’s made of, which is apparently some alloy of adamantium and mithril. And two, not really liking your tone!
About to hijack an enemy plane to return to Gotham City…
Dick: Tim’s unconscious. Who’s gonna fly it?
Jason: Don’t – Why would you worry about that before you need to?
Dick: Wha –
Jason: Why clog your brain with a bunch of hypothetical maybe-what-if bullshit?
Dick: Because –
Jason: Shut up! Because this is what we’re doing.
In the middle of a jungle mission. Both of Tim’s legs are broken.
Damian: Well, we definitely can’t leave Drake!
Jason: We have to. Tim, I’m sorry –
Tim: No, you’re not.
Jason: I am, actually, which whatever, but –
Damian: *cocks and aims a gun at Jason* We are not leaving Drake!
Jason: What do you even think you’re doing?
Damian: I AM TAKING COMMAND!
Jason and Tim: *look at each other*
Jason and Tim: *laugh hysterically*
Jason: Oh my goodness! *wipes tears* Okay. Thanks, little D, I think we needed that.
Tim: We did. We really did.
In the middle of a jungle mission and both of Tim’s legs are broken…
Robin: Well, we definitely can’t leave Drake!
Red Hood: We have to. Tim, I’m sorry –
Red Robin: No, you’re not.
Red Hood: I am, actually, which whatever, but –
Robin: *cocks and aims one of Jason’s guns at him* We are not leaving Drake!
Red Hood: What do you even think you’re doing?
Robin: I AM TAKING COMMAND!
Red Hood and Red Robin: *look at each other*
Red Hood and Red Robin: *laugh hysterically*
Red Hood: Oh my goodness! *wiping tears from his eyes* Okay. Thanks, little D. I think we needed that.
Red Robin: *clutching his belly and sighing blissfully* We did. We really did.
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