Red Hood [to thug]: I bark.
Red Hood: That kid there, see him? *points to Robin*
Red Hood: He bites.
Tag: family patrol nights
When your youngest brother tells you to stay put by the Batmobile as he sneaks into one of the Joker’s lairs…
Red Hood: What am I supposed to do out here?
Robin: Why don’t you go meditate on the poor life decisions you’ve made?
After interviewing a witness in Gotham City…
Red Robin [on the Comm Link, to Nightwing]: Yeah, she was saying that this guy with a red helmet was really nice and polite, and that he was a gentleman.
Red Robin: *nods*
Red Robin: I wanted to make sure we were talking about the same Jason Todd.
Dick: *putting on his Nightwing uniform* Are you a nerd?
Jason: No. Why would you ask me that?
Dick: *dangling the Robin uniform in front of him* It’s Patrol Night and you’re doing homework.
At the Watchtower…
Justice League: *watching surveillance, Youtube and news footage on the mainframe computer*
Batman: *walks into the room and sees Nightwing, Red Hood, Red Robin, Robin and Lark (and a bunch of burning buildings and screaming citizens) on the screen*
Superman: *arms crossed*
Wonder Woman: *hands on hips, shaking her head*
Aquaman: *raises an eyebrow*
The Flash: *wide-eyed*
Green Lantern: *biting his lip to suppress a smirk*
Cyborg: Wo-ho-hoooooo.
Batman: Hn.
Batman: Whatever they did, add it to my tab.
Batman: *walks out*
Red Robin [on the Comm Link]: Jay, I need you for this. You’re sneakier than I am, you’re a bigger liar, and you have no moral compass.
Red Hood: Look, thanks for all the compliments, but breaking into one stupid high-security facility? That’s not even a challenge.
Refuge at one of Red Hood’s pristine safe houses…
Nightwing: How’re you holding up?
Red Robin: Well, I’m gushing blood into a bucket because Jason doesn’t want to stain his new carpet. So… pretty great.
Breaking into Arkham Asylum…
Red Robin: Why are they all staring at you?
Red Hood: I’m kind of a big deal around here.
Red Robin: On a scale of 1 to 10, how much am I going to hate this little plan of yours?
Red Hood: About an 85.
Red Robin: Oh, good.
~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~
DC, please give them their own series together.
At a Batfamily meeting…
Red Robin: I found a cold case of ours that everyone foolishly said was unsolvable. Case 52ABX-32QJ.
Red Hood: Timbers, case 52ABX-32QJ is unsolvable.
Red Robin: *wiggling his eyebrows* Or maybe case 52ABX-32QJ is waiting for someone to de-unsolve it.
Nightwing: What’s case 52ABX-32QJ?
Robin: Case 52ABX… -Tt- We have to find a way to abbreviate this thing.
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