Tag: family patrol nights

Why Batman got the ol’ silent treatment during patrol that night…

Four hours ago, at a Wayne Foundation gala…

Senator: You have wonderful sons, Mr. Wayne.

Bruce: Yes, I do. But Dick, Tim, and Damian must never learn of them.

Senator and Bruce: *pompous laughter*

Dick, Tim, and Damian: …

Batman:

Nightwing, Red Robin, and Robin:

Batman: I’m –

Nightwing, Red Robin, and Robin: *grapple-hook away*

Lighten up, boys. It was just one glass of champagne too many.

Also, Jason’s legally dead, so he’s like, “Meh”.

Family Patrol Night…

While grapple-hooking from skyscraper to skyscraper…

Robin: Can I go back to Superman’s farm tomorrow?

Batman: Why?

Robin: I want to hang out with Jon.

Batman: What, all of a sudden your father’s not good enough for you?

Robin: …

Robin: It’s not “all of a sudden”.

Family Patrol Night…

Red Robin: *disarming the security system at a criminal compound* Uhhh, what do I have to do for you?

Red Hood [on the Comm Link]: *taking down a group of henchmen* Just promise to be sad at my (second) funeral.

Red Robin: *hacking into the control tower mainframe* Do I have to cry?

Red Hood: *activating the timer on an explosive device attached to a chain link fence* No.

Red Robin: *downloading top secret evidence onto a hard drive* Will there be food?

Red Hood: *running away from the site* Yes.

Red Robin: *reclining on the computer chair as he waits for said download to finish* Can I bring a date?

Red Hood: *BOOM*

Red Hood: *static*

Red Hood: *panting* You’re just screwing with me now, right?

Red Robin: *grinning* How does it feel?

When you desperately want to go on patrol with Batman…

While swinging from building to building…

Batman: Any homework for the weekend?

Robin: Nope.

Batman: Hrrn.

Robin: Okay, yes.

Batman: Dick, do we have to go through this discussion every Friday?

Robin: I’d rather we didn’t.

Family Patrol Night…

Red Hood and Red Robin: *replaying (for the nth time) a clip of Robin accidentally tripping on his shoelaces, falling off a ledge, and hanging upside-down from a skyscraper*

Red Robin: You can’t put that on Snapchat.

Red Hood: Fine, I’ll put it on Facebook like a caveman.

When you’re stuck with your pun-loving older brother on patrol night…

Red Robin: *facepalms*

Red Robin: Is this how the rest of the night’s gonna be?

Red Hood: *shrugs* I don’t know the future.

Why so serious, Timmy? Oh, right. You’re in the middle of taking down a criminal empire.

incorrect-batfamily-quotes:

When you’re stranded in the middle of wherever and calling your family’s all you’ve got…

Red Robin: What.

Red Hood [on the Comm Link]: Timbo, hey, shut up. I need you to wire me a thousand dollars.

Red Robin: Wow.

Red Hood: Yeah.

Red Robin: No.

Red Hood: Yes!

Red Robin: No!

Red Hood: Oh, for – Then just lemme talk to Babs!

Oracle: Absolutely not. Huh? Because pick any one of an infinite number of reasons! Yeah, okay, hang on…

Spoiler: Mmmmyeah, no, I would, but Cass and I can’t really leave the mall at the moment… But I can transfer you…

Lark: No, I seriously thought you were joking. Yeah, hang on…

Robin: *sinister laughter*

Red Hood: Okay. Okay! Lemme talk to Dick!

Red Hood: Dick?! Dick, listen, I –

Nightwing: Noop.

Red Hood: – need you to –

Nightwing: Noop.

Red Hood: Stop saying “noop”!

Nightwing: Noop, Jason. Noop. And it’s gonna sound like I’m hanging up, but — *static*

incorrect-batfamily-quotes:

When you’re stranded in the middle of wherever and calling your family’s all you’ve got…

Red Robin: What.

Red Hood [on the Comm Link]: Timbo, hey, shut up. I need you to wire me a thousand dollars.

Red Robin: Wow.

Red Hood: Yeah.

Red Robin: No.

Red Hood: Yes!

Red Robin: No!

Red Hood: Oh, for – Then just lemme talk to Babs!

Oracle: Absolutely not. Huh? Because pick any one of an infinite number of reasons! Yeah, okay, hang on…

Spoiler: Mmmmyeah, no, I would, but Cass and I can’t really leave the mall at the moment… But I can transfer you…

Lark: No, I seriously thought you were joking. Yeah, hang on…

Robin: *sinister laughter*

Red Hood: Okay. Okay! Lemme talk to Dick!

Red Hood: Dick?! Dick, listen, I –

Nightwing: Noop.

Red Hood: – need you to –

Nightwing: Noop.

Red Hood: Stop saying “noop”!

Nightwing: Noop, Jason. Noop. And it’s gonna sound like I’m hanging up, but — *static*

incorrect-batfamily-quotes:

On an overloaded plane over the Atlantic Ocean…

Nightwing: Hello? Time’s a bit of a factor here!

Red Hood: Tim, for the love of bats, man, jump!

Red Robin: Just throw out the kryptonite!

Red Hood: What?! No! I’m not telling Bruce I lost the original hundred pounds of –

Nightwing and Red Robin: Kilos!

Red Hood: Whatever unit of measurement – of kryptonite! Plus, all this kryptonite! Do you have any idea how pissed he’d be?

Nightwing: Well, the alternative is a belly-landing in a swamp filled with alligators!

Red Hood: No. No, no, no. No. What if, um…

Red Robin: Jason! Alligators or Bruce!

Red Hood: What’s the difference?! They’re both cold-blooded prehistoric monsters!