incorrect-batfamily-quotes:

Trying to get your brother to make healthier choices be like…

Nightwing: *laying the blueprint for a warehouse across the street on the rooftop deck*

Red Robin: *setting up surveillance equipment*

Robin: *adjusting Goliath’s leash*

Red Hood: *coughs*

Red Robin: Wait a second, are you smoking inside of your helment again?

Red Hood: What? No.

Red Hood: *tries to stifle another cough as smoke comes out of the vents in his helmet* Oops.

Nightwing: *locating Alfred on his communicator* I knew this would happen. And how many snack cakes have you had today?

Red Hood: None.

Nightwing, Red Robin and Robin: *glare at him*

Red Hood: Okay, five… or more. Baker’s dozen at most.

Robin: Do you even know how many there are in a baker’s dozen, Todd?

Red Hood: By my count? Forty-eight.

incorrect-batfamily-quotes:

Sparring session at the Batcave…

Nightwing: *lights up escrima sticks*

Red Hood: *cocks guns*

Red Robin: *twirls Bo staff*

Robin: *pulls sword out of scabbard*

Robin: *pushes it back*

Red Robin: *smirks* What are you afraid of?

Robin: I’m afraid I’m gonna hit you all so hard that I’ll be an only child.


And he didn’t mean that to be cocky this time. It’s a legitimate concern.

incorrect-batfamily-quotes:

Sneaking into a top secret facility in the middle of the night…

Red Robin: *whispering* Wait, here’s an idea: You talk louder, and maybe the guards’ll just come to us.

Red Hood: *whispering* We’d lose the element of surprise, Timbo.

Red Robin: That was sarcasm!

Red Hood: No way, really? Because so was that, just now.

incorrect-batfamily-quotes:

Nightwing: *sees what Batman and Red Robin are up to* Tracking software? You’re spying on Damian!

Batman: Dick, keeping track of someone because you love them is not wrong. It shows you care.

[Scene cuts to Deathstroke on a nearby rooftop, listening in via a bugging device attached to the Batmobile]

Deathstroke: That’s right, my dear Dick Grayson. *sinister laugh* Soon, you’ll be mine.

[Scene cuts to two FBI agents in a surveillance truck]

FBI Agent #1: *observing Deathstroke via a spy camera* Keep talking, creepo.

FBI Agent #2: Every word buys you a year in the slammer.

incorrect-batfamily-quotes:

When you’re stranded in the middle of wherever and calling your family’s all you’ve got…

Red Robin: What.

Red Hood [on the Comm Link]: Timbo, hey, shut up. I need you to wire me a thousand dollars.

Red Robin: Wow.

Red Hood: Yeah.

Red Robin: No.

Red Hood: Yes!

Red Robin: No!

Red Hood: Oh, for – Then just lemme talk to Babs!

Oracle: Absolutely not. Huh? Because pick any one of an infinite number of reasons! Yeah, okay, hang on…

Spoiler: Mmmmyeah, no, I would, but Cass and I can’t really leave the mall at the moment… But I can transfer you…

Lark: No, I seriously thought you were joking. Yeah, hang on…

Robin: *sinister laughter*

Red Hood: Okay. Okay! Lemme talk to Dick!

Red Hood: Dick?! Dick, listen, I –

Nightwing: Noop.

Red Hood: – need you to –

Nightwing: Noop.

Red Hood: Stop saying “noop”!

Nightwing: Noop, Jason. Noop. And it’s gonna sound like I’m hanging up, but — *static*

incorrect-batfamily-quotes:

Undercover mission at a restaurant…

Jason: Let’s go Ti – Thomas, c’mon! Chop, chop.

Tim: You’re the one who dropped it! Why do I have to clean it up?

Jason: Because you’re the garçon de cuisine, which means kitchen boy, whereas I am the sous chef, which means shut your face and mop up the damn yogurt.

Tim: And why do you get to be sous chef?

* Flashback to Jason and Roy eating out in France while staking out a tech criminal during their Red Hood/Arsenal days *

Jason: Because I have fine dining experience!