When your brother tries to convince you to perform a death-defying, two-man maneuver with him…
Red Hood: Dick, that’s acrobat stuff. I don’t have the expertise.
Nightwing: Jay, any idiot can be an acrobat.
Red Hood: I know, I just think –
Nightwing: I knew you thought that! I knew it.
Red Hood: You tricked me!
Tag: family patrol nights
Red Hood: *wiping blood away from his busted lip* You made one big mistake, you ancient dirtbag.
Ra’s al Ghul: And what was that?
Red Hood: You pissed off your grandson.
Robin: *spits out a broken tooth and cracks his knuckles*
Robin: *skims a mission dossier*
Robin: -Tt-
Robin: Father would never ask me to do this.
Nightwing: No, you’re right. He wouldn’t. He’d ask me to ask you.
When you team up with your brother to catch one of the most elusive criminal masterminds in the world…
Red Hood: You were very good out there.
Red Robin: And you were very Jason.
At the Watchtower…
Justice League: *watching surveillance, Youtube and news footage on the mainframe computer*
Batman: *walks into the room and sees Nightwing, Red Hood, Red Robin, Robin and Lark (and a bunch of burning buildings and screaming citizens) on the screen*
Superman: *arms crossed*
Wonder Woman: *hands on hips, shaking her head*
Aquaman: *raises an eyebrow*
The Flash: *wide-eyed*
Green Lantern: *biting his lip to suppress a smirk*
Cyborg: Wo-ho-hoooooo.
Batman: Hn.
Batman: Whatever they did, add it to my tab.
Batman: *walks out*
When you’re stranded in the middle of wherever and calling your family’s all you’ve got…
Red Robin: What.
Red Hood [on the Comm Link]: Timbo, hey, shut up. I need you to wire me a thousand dollars.
Red Robin: Wow.
Red Hood: Yeah.
Red Robin: No.
Red Hood: Yes!
Red Robin: No!
Red Hood: Oh, for – Then just lemme talk to Babs!
Batgirl: Absolutely not. Huh? Because pick any one of an infinite number of reasons! Yeah, okay, hang on…
Spoiler: Mmmmyeah, no, I would, but Cass and I can’t really leave the mall at the moment… But I can transfer you…
The Signal: No, I seriously thought you were joking. Yeah, hang on…
Robin: *sinister laughter*
Red Hood: Okay. Okay! Lemme talk to Dick!
Red Hood: Dick?! Dick, listen, I –
Nightwing: Noop.
Red Hood: – need you to –
Nightwing: Noop.
Red Hood: Stop saying “noop”!
Nightwing: Noop, Jason. Noop. And it’s gonna sound like I’m hanging up, but — *static*
Running away from Bane…
Nightwing: Go, go, go –
Red Hood: *grabs his collar and pulls him back to the ground then runs away*
Nightwing: AHHH! Are you really that selfish?!
Red Hood: Apparently!
To each his own…
Red Robin: *enters pass code*
Computer: ACCESS DENIED
Red Hood: Let me try mine.
Red Hood: *raises grenade launcher*
Driving away from a monster attacking Gotham City be like…
Nightwing: *looking through the rear window of the Batmobile* Uh, guys –
Red Robin: *sitting next to Dick, desperately trying to gain remote control of the Batjet using his communicator*
Robin: *riding shotgun* -Tt- You were picked for a reason, Todd! You’re supposed to be our reckless driver!
Red Hood: *about to drive the Batmobile through a burning building* I’m driving as recklessly as I can!
Red Hood: *glares at criminal*
Red Hood: I’m going to go oil my chainsaw.
Red Robin: What?
Nightwing: *whispering* Jay, we don’t need the chainsaw. Is that what’s in that bag?
Red Hood: Oh, we do. Because drawing a confession out of someone is like doing a beautiful dance. A beautiful dance with a chainsaw.
Red Robin: He makes less and less sense as the days go by.
~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~
Must be all that Lazarus Pit fluid.
incorrect-batfamily-quotes 