Family Patrol Night…
Batman: *setting up surveillance equipment on the rooftop*
Robin: *watching the traffic down below while perched atop a gargoyle*
Nightwing: *balancing on the ledge (y’know, upside-down and on one hand, the yoosh)*
Red Robin: Jay, I have a riddle for you. What’s the sound of one hand clapping?
Red Hood: Piece of cake. *opens and closes his fist quickly, which makes a faint sound*
Red Robin: No, man. It’s a 3000-year-old riddle with no answer. It’s supposed to clear your mind of conscious thought.
Red Hood: No answer? Timmy, listen up. *quickly opens and closes his fist again*
Batman: Hn. *smirks*
Nightwing: *giggles and almost loses his balance*
Robin: -Tt-
Tag: family patrol nights
Robin: Todd, I’m going to jump off this skyscraper.
Red Hood: You know, kid, as the only adult here, I feel like I should say something.
Robin: What?
Red Hood: Cool!
Red Hood: *unconscious on the floor*
Nightwing: Well?
Red Robin: *checks Red Hood’s pulse* He’ll live.
Robin: What, no brain damage?
Red Robin: If he has some, it happened way before tonight and was probably self-inflicted.
Red Hood: *gets up* Ahhh, good times.
When you realize that maybe it isn’t a good idea to pair up your two younger brothers for patrol just yet…
Red Robin and Robin: *storm into the Batcave, shoving each other out of the way, and immediately head to opposite directions*
Red Robin: *swearing angrily under his breath*
Robin: -Tt-
Nightwing: Um…
Red Robin: *glowers at Damian while stripping off his uniform*
Robin: *hisses at Tim, grabs Alfred the Cat, and goes upstairs to his bedroom*
Nightwing: So…
Red Robin: The brat followed me home. Can we keep him? Can we keep him? Say no, Dick!
When you team up with your brother to catch one of the most elusive criminal masterminds in the world…
Red Hood: You were very good out there.
Red Robin: And you were very Jason.
Patrol gone awry…
Robin: *angrily stomps into the Batcave*
Red Robin: *wearily takes off his combat boots*
Red Hood: *has a leather jacket tug-of-war with Ace the Bathound*
Nightwing: So… What happened out there?
Robin: Chalk that one up to Tweedle Dumb and Tweedle Douche over there.
Nightwing: Who’re they?
Red Robin and Robin: They’re both Jason.
At the start of the training sessions in the “Robin War” story arc…
Agent 37: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Robin Club. The first rule of Robin Club is: you do not talk about Robin Club.
Red Hood: The second rule of Robin Club is: you do not talk about Robin Club.
Red Robin: The third rule of Robin Club: someone yells “stop”, goes limp, taps out, the fight is over.
Agent 37: The fourth rule: only two Robins to a fight. The fifth rule: one fight at a time, guys and gals. The sixth rule: no shirts, no shoes. The seventh rule: fights will go on as long as they have to.
Robin: And the eighth and final rule: if this is your first night at Robin Club, you have to fight.
Robin: -Tt-
Nightwing [on the Comm Link]: *on his motorcycle, tailing them* Did you two just push Tim out of the moving Batmobile and yell, “You’re out of the team”?!
Red Hood: Now, in hindsight, that does seem kind of rash.
Robin: *pulling into a Batburger drive-through* It was kind of a snap decision.
“Wanted to surprise but got surprised”
(via)
Imagine: Red Hood, who’s incredibly bored during patrol, attempting to sneak up on Red Robin, who’s busy investigating, only to be surprised by Robin, who they had no idea came to patrol with them.
Nightwing: “B-Team” roll call. Hood?
Red Hood: *cocks guns* Here and handsome!
Nightwing: Little D?
Robin: *brandishes katana* Here and crazy!
Nightwing: Red?
Red Robin: *twirls Bo staff* I pity the fool! But also suggest ways he may better himself.
Batman: Hn.
~ • ~ • ~ • ~
And this is what happens when “Family Patrol Night” comes right after “Family Movie Night”.
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