“Robin War” be like…
Robin [to Duke and the other wannabe Robins]: Under my tutelage, you will grow from boys to men. From men into gladiators. And from gladiators into Robins.
Said the tiny, thirteen-year-old bird.
Tag: duke thomas
At the Annual Justice League Talent Competition…
Robin: *watches his brothers performing onstage*
Robin: That is my band. I didn’t recognize them without me because I’m the only one that matters.
And this is why they kicked you out, Dami.
Batman: *studying a case on the Batcomputer*
Nightwing: *parkour-ing from giant memento to giant memento in the Batcave*
Red Hood: *aiming at the bats with his guns (”What? For target practice!”)*
Red Robin: *rambles on about his Multiverse theories to Bruce while dragging around an IV stand with a pouch of pure liquid caffeine*
Batgirl: *taking a selfie while Spoiler braids her hair*
Robin: *approaching Alfred with Batcow in tow (”I need more pet food, Pennyworth.”)*
Lark: *Snapchatting everyone while ducking to avoid Dick (”Typical Tuesdays”)*
Batman: *finds it hard to focus, stops typing*
Batman: *looks at the chaos that is his children*
Alfred: *serves Bruce some tea*
Batman: Alfred, this is like a waking nightmare of happiness.
Alfred: *grins and walks away*
Orphan: *hugs Bruce’s neck from behind*
Batman: *grins as his daughter skips away to join the fray*
Mornings at the Manor…
Bruce: *drinking coffee, watching as his children gather in a small circle in the kitchen*
Tim: So, hands in.
Jason, Steph, Duke: *put their hands one on top of the other over Tim’s*
Tim: Defeat that little brat Damian on three! 1, 2, 3!
Bruce: *spits out coffee*
~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~
You kids just couldn’t at least let your father finish his coffee in peace, could you?
Duke: I just spent the last few years thinking that you guys knew more than me about life, and I just found out that you guys are just as dumb as me.
Jason: Da doi.
Tim: Yeah. Da doi.
At the Wayne Manor attic…
Dick: *dramatically walks out from behind a dusty, old cabinet wearing his 80’s Nightwing suit*
Jason: *clears his throat loudly*
Tim: *standing absolutely still but with shoulders shaking*
Damian: *jaw drop*
Duke: *eyes wide, covering his mouth*
Dick: You guys think I’m some sort of a joke!
Jason, Tim, Damian, and Duke: *break into a fit of laughter*
Jason: *wiping tears off his eyes* This isn’t disproving that theory.
Mornings at the Manor…
Duke: *nervously looks over his shoulder at Bruce pulling a sneering Damian by the scruff of the neck, Dick restraining a furious Tim via bear hug, Alfred telling Jason to get down from the kitchen counter, Cass ushering the family pets to safety, and the refrigerator on fire*
Duke: *sips chocolate milk, then looks straight into the Snapchat camera*
Duke: Jason attacked the counter with a fire axe and is still only the second craziest person in the kitchen.
(Im)patiently waiting for your brother to finish typing up his case report in the Batcave so you can finally play Laser Tag be like…
Dick: ♪ ♫ Timmmmyyyy ♩ ♬
Jason: *grooooaaannns*
Duke: *Snapchatting Tim: “1 intense birb”*
Damian: Tell me, Drake, were you born boring, or did you have to work at it?
Clearly, he’s working… at it.
At the Gotham City Comic Con…
Nightwing, Red Hood, Red Robin, and Robin: *in their superhero uniforms*
Duke: *blinks*
Duke: Either this is a mission, or you guys are really good at hiding your hobbies.
When your brothers want to take you on a camping trip but you’d much rather stay in Gotham City to work on a case…
Dick: *deciding on which bug sprays and skin care products to bring*
Jason: *loading tents, duffel bags, and sleeping bags into the SUV*
Damian: *asking Alfred to pack some pet food just in case they encounter some animals*
Duke: *taking pre-trip photos and videos*
Tim [on Duke’s Snaptchat]: *pale from sleep deprivation and possibly dehydrated from too much caffeine* I don’t understand why you guys can’t go without me and just Photoshop me in.
Like Batman, like middle child.
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