incorrect-batfamily-quotes:

At the Watchtower…

Justice League: *watching surveillance, Youtube, and news footage on the mainframe computer*

Batman: *walks into the room and sees Nightwing, Red Hood, Red Robin, Robin, and Lark (and a bunch of burning buildings and screaming citizens) on the screen*

Superman: *arms crossed*

Wonder Woman: *hands on hips, shaking her head*

Aquaman: *raises an eyebrow*

The Flash: *wide-eyed*

Green Lantern: *biting his lip to suppress a smirk*

Cyborg: Wo-ho-hoooooo.

Batman: Hn.

Batman: Whatever they did, add it to my tab.

Batman: *walks out*

incorrect-batfamily-quotes:

At the Wayne Manor attic…

Dick: *dramatically walks out from behind a dusty, old cabinet wearing his 80’s Nightwing suit*

Jason: *clears his throat loudly*

Tim: *standing absolutely still but with shoulders shaking*

Damian: *jaw drop*

Duke: *eyes wide, covering his mouth*

Dick: You guys think I’m some sort of a joke!

Jason, Tim, Damian, and Duke: *break into a fit of laughter*

Jason: *wiping tears off his eyes* This isn’t disproving that theory.

incorrect-batfamily-quotes:

When you’re stranded in the middle of wherever and calling your family’s all you’ve got…

Red Robin: What.

Red Hood [on the Comm Link]: Timbo, hey, shut up. I need you to wire me a thousand dollars.

Red Robin: Wow.

Red Hood: Yeah.

Red Robin: No.

Red Hood: Yes!

Red Robin: No!

Red Hood: Oh, for – Then just lemme talk to Babs!

Oracle: Absolutely not. Huh? Because pick any one of an infinite number of reasons! Yeah, okay, hang on…

Spoiler: Mmmmyeah, no, I would, but Cass and I can’t really leave the mall at the moment… But I can transfer you…

Lark: No, I seriously thought you were joking. Yeah, hang on…

Robin: *sinister laughter*

Red Hood: Okay. Okay! Lemme talk to Dick!

Red Hood: Dick?! Dick, listen, I –

Nightwing: Noop.

Red Hood: – need you to –

Nightwing: Noop.

Red Hood: Stop saying “noop”!

Nightwing: Noop, Jason. Noop. And it’s gonna sound like I’m hanging up, but — *static*

incorrect-batfamily-quotes:

When you’re stranded in the middle of wherever and calling your family’s all you’ve got…

Red Robin: What.

Red Hood [on the Comm Link]: Timbo, hey, shut up. I need you to wire me a thousand dollars.

Red Robin: Wow.

Red Hood: Yeah.

Red Robin: No.

Red Hood: Yes!

Red Robin: No!

Red Hood: Oh, for – Then just lemme talk to Babs!

Oracle: Absolutely not. Huh? Because pick any one of an infinite number of reasons! Yeah, okay, hang on…

Spoiler: Mmmmyeah, no, I would, but Cass and I can’t really leave the mall at the moment… But I can transfer you…

Lark: No, I seriously thought you were joking. Yeah, hang on…

Robin: *sinister laughter*

Red Hood: Okay. Okay! Lemme talk to Dick!

Red Hood: Dick?! Dick, listen, I –

Nightwing: Noop.

Red Hood: – need you to –

Nightwing: Noop.

Red Hood: Stop saying “noop”!

Nightwing: Noop, Jason. Noop. And it’s gonna sound like I’m hanging up, but — *static*

Jason: *tosses a small package* First time you’ve ever held a grenade?

Duke: *catches it with trembling hands* Yes. It was never really a goal of mine.

~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~

This is not how you “bond” with a new family member, Jay.

Dick: Duke, this is everybody. Everybody, this is Duke.

Barbara: Hey, Duke, the Signal.

Tim: Hey, Duke.

Cassandra: *grins*

Damian: *nods in approval*

Steph: Hey, Duke!

Jason: I’m sorry, I didn’t catch your name. Duke, was it?

incorrect-batfamily-quotes:

Batman: *studying a case on the Batcomputer*

Nightwing: *parkour-ing from giant memento to giant memento in the Batcave*

Red Hood: *aiming at the bats with his guns (”What? For target practice!”)*

Red Robin: *rambles on about his Multiverse theories to Bruce while dragging around an IV stand with a pouch of pure liquid caffeine* 

Batgirl: *taking a selfie while Spoiler braids her hair*

Robin: *approaching Alfred with Batcow in tow (”I need more pet food, Pennyworth.”)*

Lark: *Snapchatting everyone while ducking to avoid Dick (”Typical Tuesdays”)*

Batman: *finds it hard to focus, stops typing*

Batman: *looks at the chaos that is his children*

Alfred: *serves Bruce some tea*

Batman: Alfred, this is like a waking nightmare of happiness.

Alfred: *grins and walks away*

Orphan: *hugs Bruce’s neck from behind*

Batman: *grins as his daughter skips away to join the fray*

Batman: *discussing the do’s and don’ts for an upcoming mission*

Red Hood [to The Signal]: *whispering* Don’t worry about it, man.

Red Hood: *gestures to his brothers and to himself* You’re kind of like a Robin now. We make our own rules.

Nightwing: *winks*

Red Robin: *grins*

Robin: *salutes*

~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~

Bros before… broody, mood-killing, adoptive fathers clad in leather.

When you spot the Batplane (and the four-foot teenager driving it) heading towards you…

The Signal: Why do I need back-up?

Robin [on the Comm Link]: No, no, you misunderstand, Thomas. You are the back-up. Baby steps.


Sorry, sweetheart. He likes pulling rank.

Duke: I’m not exactly a Robin…

Jason: You’re more than that. You’re family and you’re not alone. If they come after you, they’ll have to go through me first.


I’d like to see more interactions between these two in the comics.