Jason: So, who’d you side with, Tim or Damian?
Dick: Neither. I just pretended that I was paged by Bruce, and then when they said that they didn’t hear anything, I called them both liars and somersaulted away.
Jason: Smooth.
Tag: dick grayson
Family Patrol Night…
Nightwing: *doing some stretches* You seem kinda stressed out.
Red Robin: *setting up surveillance equipment* Well, I haven’t pooped in six days –
Red Hood: *reloading his revolvers* Twice this evening, and I haven’t even had a smoke yet.
Robin: *polishing his sword* You really pick odd things to brag about, Todd.
Red Hood: I’m just saying, if I had to get to three by breakfast, I probably could.
Batman: *holding Damian by the scruff of the neck*
Robin: *growling and attempting to free himself*
Batman: This is, uh… *clears his throat* This is my son.
Wonder Woman: Your offspring is adorable! May I keep him?
Nightwing: *panting after having sprinted from across the hall* NO! No, you – you certainly may n-not!
Infiltrating a high-security criminal base…
Nightwing [to the rest of the Batfamily]: I know you’re all tired, but don’t forget why we’re here.
Red Hood: Because we’re dedicated detectives.
Nightwing: Because Jason jumped the gun.
When Bruce returned from “death”…
Dick: Well, well. If it isn’t Batman himself. Great to see you back in the Batcave, Bruce!
Bruce: Yes.
Dick: There it is, that classic Wayne/Grayson banter. Zingers just flying around. It’s like you never left!
Bruce: No, I most definitely left.
As Bruce and Selina prepare to recite their vows to each other…
Dick: *whispering* A little heads up: There’s no way I’m not crying at this wedding.
Tim: Dick, you cried on the way here.
At the Watchtower…
Justice League: *watching surveillance, Youtube, and news footage on the mainframe computer*
Batman: *walks into the room and sees Nightwing, Red Hood, Red Robin, Robin, and Lark (and a bunch of burning buildings and screaming citizens) on the screen*
Superman: *arms crossed*
Wonder Woman: *hands on hips, shaking her head*
Aquaman: *raises an eyebrow*
The Flash: *wide-eyed*
Green Lantern: *biting his lip to suppress a smirk*
Cyborg: Wo-ho-hoooooo.
Batman: Hn.
Batman: Whatever they did, add it to my tab.
Batman: *walks out*
Nightwing: Damian, um… The mission that I’m leaving for tomorrow… It’s actually a lot longer than I let on.
Robin: What, Grayson, like three days?
Nightwing: No…
Robin: Four days?
Nightwing: Six months.
Robin: Five days?
Dropping by your older brother’s Blüdhaven apartment be like…
Red Hood: *withdraws his hand in disgust* Why is there milk-soaked cereal in the silverware drawer?
Dick: Oh, you mean, why is there silverware in the cereal drawer? *winks*
Red Hood:
Red Hood: *takes a photo and texts it to Alfred*
Dropping by your older brother’s Blüdhaven apartment be like…
Red Hood: *withdraws his hand in disgust* Why is there milk-soaked cereal in the silverware drawer?
Dick: Oh, you mean, why is there silverware in the cereal drawer? *winks*
Red Hood:
Red Hood: *takes a photo and texts it to Alfred*
incorrect-batfamily-quotes 