During Tim’s first days as Robin…
Tim: You can’t be fired from your own family. Can you?
Dick:
Bruce:
Dick: *sarcastically clears throat*
Tag: dick grayson
Tim: *whispering* What’s your hurry?
Jason: *grabbing his leather jacket and kicking three-day-old garbage underneath the sofa* This place is depressing.
Dick: *yelling from the kitchen* Hey! I live here!
Jason: *yelling back* And I’m sure it’s a blast once you get used to it!
~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~
Maybe if you cleaned up once in a while before these family visits, Nightwing…
Mornings at the Batcave…
Tim: *downing a cup of espresso* Okay, we all know why we’re here, right?
Dick: *still in just boxer shorts, yawning and shaking his head*
Jason: *groans* No. Why?
Tim: To fight Damian, the bully. That tiny tween has been tormenting all of us for years, and I for one am sick of it! I can’t promise you victory. I can’t promise you good times. But the one thing I do know –
Dick and Jason: *head back to the Manor*
Tim: Whoa! Whoa! I promise you victory! I promise you good times!
Batman: *holding Damian by the scruff of the neck*
Robin: *growling and attempting to free himself*
Batman: This is, uh… *clears his throat* This is my son.
Wonder Woman: Your offspring is adorable! May I keep him?
Nightwing: *panting after having sprinted from across the hall* NO! No, you – you certainly may n-not!
When your brother tries to convince you to perform a death-defying, two-man maneuver with him…
Red Hood: Dick, that’s acrobat stuff. I don’t have the expertise.
Nightwing: Jay, any idiot can be an acrobat.
Red Hood: I know, I just think –
Nightwing: I knew you thought that! I knew it.
Red Hood: You tricked me!
When you just can’t say no to a brother in need…
Nightwing: I’ll do it.
Red Hood: I knew you would. You’re very predictable.
Nightwing & Red Hood: No, I’m not.
Nightwing & Red Hood: Stop doing that!
Nightwing & Red Hood: Peanut butter egg cereal.
Batman: Alfred, I was totally fine before Dick came into my life.
Alfred: With all due respect, Master Bruce, you were a dumpster fire.
Jason: Wow. Little Timmy, the new CEO of Wayne Enterprises. I feel so full of… What’s the opposite of shame?
Dick: Pride?
Jason: No, not that far from shame.
Dick: Less shame?
Jason: *beaming with pride* Yeah.
Tim: *watching as Damian furiously stomps away*
Tim: He really doesn’t like me.
Dick: *sighs* He doesn’t. But he didn’t have to say it to your face.
A “cook-in” at your best friend’s apartment be like…
Wally: I got the steak from the freezer. *slams a package onto the kitchen counter*
Dick: Why do you have chocolate on your face?
Wally: It was under a chocolate pie.
Dick: So you ate your way through it?
Wally: I made a judgment call. You weren’t there.
incorrect-batfamily-quotes 