Dick and Jason: *watching as Tim downs his fourth cup of coffee, spilling some on his ketchup and mustard-stained shirt, burps loudly, and wipes dried slobber off his face*
Dick: *sighs*
Jason: I love him, but if he’s broken, let’s ask Bruce not to get a new one.
Tag: dick grayson
Mornings at the Manor…
Tim: *covering a bruised eye*
Dick: *hugging him consolingly*
Jason: *heading to the refrigerator to grab an ice pack while trying to suppress his laughter*
Bruce and Alfred: *glaring disappointedly*
Damian: *guarding a platter of tofu* It’s not my fault I’m bad at sharing! I skipped kindergarten!
Wayne Manor, 3 AM…
Dick: *teary-eyed, sniffling, and sneezing*
Dick: *heads to the kitchen and pours himself a glass of milk*
Dick: *pauses when he hears swift, clicking sounds*
Dick: *thinks to himself, “WTF?!”, and grabs an escrima stick from a secret compartment behind the refrigerator*
Dick: *wipes his nose with the back of his hand and prepares to pounce on the silhouette by the breakfast table*
Dick: aaaaaAAAHHH –
Tim: *swivels around, dead-eyed and on his sixty-fourth cup of coffee*
Tim: I typed your symptoms on my laptop here. And it says you could have Network Connectivity Problems.
@prison-mikes-bandana, an updated version. Haha.
Family Patrol Night…
Batman: I will go in and do this quietly.
Red Hood: Well, if that doesn’t work, we will come in to make some noise. *cocks guns*
Nightwing: *lights up escrima sticks*
Red Robin: *twirls bo staff*
Robin: *brandishes sword*
Bonus:
Superman: *hovers and winks*
Interventions at the Manor…
Alfred: *wearing a mask and carrying a vacuum cleaner*
Dick: *putting on gloves*
Jason: *filling a black garbage bag with piles of… What are these, Timbo?*
Damian: *pinching his nose and looking around in pure disgust*
Tim: I want to get rid of my stuff, but all my stuff is really good and I just can’t get rid of it.
Dick: It’s not and you have to.
Jason: Everything you own is trash.
Damian: You’re basically a hoarder, Drake.
Tim: *chugs a mug of coffee and stains his three-day-old shirt further*
Tim: Not true. Everything has meaning. Everything is connected to something else.
Tim: Dick’s been looking for you all morning.
Jason: What does he want?
Tim: I don’t know, but he’s dressed strangely.
Jason: Really? How can you tell?
Nightwing: *yelling over the commotion while dodging bullets and beating up criminals* I’m dying to sing “Under the Sea” right now, but I’m not, so there, maturity!
Damian: Is it okay if I do it for Grayson and not you?
Tim: Yeah.
Damian: Because I really like Grayson.
Jason: We know.
When your eldest brother asks you to look after his Blüdhaven apartment while he’s away on a mission…
Red Robin: Oh, come on, Dick’s a grown man. He can take care of himself.
Red Hood: *opens the refrigerator to reveal a bottle of curdy milk, a half-eaten sandwich, and a bowl of soggy Cheerios*
Red Hood: *looking unimpressed* You really believe that?
Duke: *walks into the living room*
Duke: *sees the aftermath of his brothers’ Monopoly game*
Duke: *yells to no one in particular in the Manor* Will someone please call all the ambulances?
incorrect-batfamily-quotes 