Dick: *polishing his faux glasses* Jay, you look so smart in that coat.
Jason: Not that smart. I just found out that you’re supposed to wear clothes under this thing.
So…
Once in a while I’ll come across a comment or two on my posts asking where so-and-so is or why so-and-so isn’t included in them. And I’m grateful because none of them have been rude so far; to me, they sound more like outcries from fans who just want their beloved (and perhaps underappreciated) characters to get more recognition.
Though I understand where they’re coming from, here’s the thing: a lot of you are probably more well-versed in comic canon than I am.
One of the reasons I’m partial to certain characters is because they’re the ones I first encountered when I started reading comics and whose core “personalities” really stuck with me. I’ve gotten to know them more intimately than others and tend to read more about them. It’s kind of like discovering a TV show that really resonates with you; it can keep you from checking out other shows because you’re so preoccupied watching it.
(And I’m really not fond of writing about anything that I don’t know much about because it feels like cheating to me, if that makes sense.)
That being said, once in a while, I’ll come across an incorrect quote or think up a scenario that makes me go, “Oh, I think I might know this character that I rarely write about enough to include him or her in this”. And that’s when I really run with it because it brings me joy to make posts with a big-family feel.
So… You’ll have to forgive me if you don’t see a lot of your favorite character on here. (Trust me, it’s probably better that way until I get back to reading comics more consistently again.)
I do appreciate your comments (and will, once in a while, even stalk reblogs just to read the tags on them *snickers unashamedly*).
Alfred: *walks into the Batcave and notices a small light in otherwise utter darkness*
Alfred: *turns on all the lights, waits for his eyes to adjust and sees Bruce sitting on his computer chair, staring into the distance* Master Bruce?
Batman: *clears his throat and wipes his face haphazardly* Alfred. I – I didn’t hear you come in.
Alfred: My word… It’s been a while since I last saw you shed a tear. What’s the matt–
Batman: *gets up and starts working on his latest gadget* Allergies! You know I have them.
Alfred: I’ve been with you since before you were in nappies. You most certainly do not.
Batman: I meant fear toxin! Crane’s b-back in town.
Alfred:Master. Bruce.
Batman: *putting on his cowl and cape in a hurry* The signal, Alfred – Gordon, rooftop – *runs into the Batmobile*
Alfred: *muttering as he picks up what looks to be a discarded phone from the ground and dusts it off* Such a simple question. But perhaps I should have known better. *sighs*
Me: *walking into the Batcave with Dick and holding my hair down as the Batmobile zooms past us*
Nightwing: *drops the cereal bar he was munching on* Broosh? Wha– He totally forgot about me! *jumps on his motorcycle and speeds off*
Alfred: I believe this belongs to you.
Me: *takes my phone from him* He’s been looking at our Tumblr account again, huh? *scrolls through the inbox*
Me: *grinning from ear to ear*
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
This is so touching that it could make even Mr. Poker McBatface show some emotion, is what I’m trying to say. Thank you, thank you, @unsaddledlamb!
Alfred: *walks into the Batcave carrying a tray of cookies*
Alfred:
Alfred: Master Bruce, is everything alright?
Batman: *looks up for a second* Oh. Alfred.
Alfred: *frowns suspiciously*
Batman: *distractedly* Uh, Alps. Mission. With Clark.
Alfred: *looks at the Batcomputer screen displaying a Tumblr page*
Batman: I’ve been doing some research on optimal wilderness disguises.
Alfred: *watching silently as his vigilante son, donning a yellow cowl, pulls at tight spots on his snow-colored suit and flips its matching furry cape, using the Batmobile’s reflective surface as a mirror*
Alfred: *leaves the tray on Bruce’s work table and proceeds to walk out, grinning* Then I shall leave you to it.
~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~
@xellexavierxau, looks like someone liked your idea.
SOMEONE NEEDS TO DRAW THIS ITS SO CUTE
Me: *whispering to @nanna-the-batmum * I was actually thinking the same thing – *does a double-take*
Red Hood: *holding up a hand-painted sign saying “WANTED: artist willing to draw Bruce in a fluffy, white Batsuit, REWARD: 1 BILLION DOLLARS”*
Me: Jason, we can’t afford that –
Nightwing: *empties his piggy bank onto the kitchen table* Savings from my days as a police officer.
Red Robin: *writes a check* Savings from my days as CEO of Wayne Enterprises.
Robin: *takes out a thick wad of cash from his utility belt* Spare change.
Red Hood: *clicks on a banking app on his phone* And a liiiiittle bit more from Bruce’s days as Bruce Wayne.
“Oh, those glass shards on my back? I get them all the time. No biggie. Hey, do you guys serve cereal?”
The staff love checking him ou – er, checking up on him.
Regales them with stories of past injuries, which none of them can believe are even possible (”Then how are you still alive?”)
Jason
Fake ID (since, you know, legally dead and all)
Wheeled into the hospital room by 5 AM, out through the window in a hospital gown and onto a waiting motorcycle by 5:15 AM
Tim:
Double-checks every diagnosis and every medication and cross-references them with similar cases in the city (and occasionally schools whomever is unfortunate enough to check up on him)
Who knows how pure liquid caffeine got injected into his IV bottle?
Damian:
“You call this food? My father will buy this place!”
Physical examination? You might as well put your hand inside a Tasmanian devil’s tunnel.
Alfred: *hears sniffling*
Alfred: *walks into the Batcave and notices a small light in otherwise utter darkness*
Alfred: *turns on all the lights, waits for his eyes to adjust and sees Bruce sitting on his computer chair, staring into the distance* Master Bruce?
Batman: *clears his throat and wipes his face haphazardly* Alfred. I – I didn’t hear you come in.
Alfred: My word… It’s been a while since I last saw you shed a tear. What’s the matt–
Batman: *gets up and starts working on his latest gadget* Allergies! You know I have them.
Alfred: I’ve been with you since before you were in nappies. You most certainly do not.
Batman: I meant fear toxin! Crane’s b-back in town.
Alfred:Master. Bruce.
Batman: *putting on his cowl and cape in a hurry* The signal, Alfred – Gordon, rooftop – *runs into the Batmobile*
Alfred: *muttering as he picks up what looks to be a discarded phone from the ground and dusts it off* Such a simple question. But perhaps I should have known better. *sighs*
Me: *walking into the Batcave with Dick and holding my hair down as the Batmobile zooms past us*
Nightwing: *drops the cereal bar he was munching on* Broosh? Wha– He totally forgot about me! *jumps on his motorcycle and speeds off*
Alfred: I believe this belongs to you.
Me: *takes my phone from him* He’s been looking at our Tumblr account again, huh? *scrolls through the inbox*
Me: *grinning from ear to ear*
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
This is so touching that it could make even Mr. Poker McBatface show some emotion, is what I’m trying to say. Thank you, thank you, @unsaddledlamb!
incorrect-batfamily-quotes 