Red Hood: Yeah, but… This is… W-What if we… I don’t know, it’s… I don’t know. Shouldn’t we run this by Bruce first?
Robin: Ha! Father would never agree, so I say we just go doit. I bet I could get Kent to sneak into his father’s Fortress of Sadness or whatever and find us something that could help us get there –
Red Hood: *holds up a hand to stop him* Little D, I get it. I died, you died, yet we’re both standing here. A crisis rebooting our universe is basically just Tuesday for all of us. But this? We’re talking other universe-universe. Like, an outside-of-our-entire-freakin’-Multiverse universe, like even Mr. Mxyzptlk –
Nightwing: Jason’s got a point. None of us has ever gone that far. We didn’t even know it existed before this message from… @vecino-amigable-aracnido-jr., who seems to be some kind of… Spiderman.
Red Robin: *clears his throat* That’s not… completely true.
Nightwing: What do you mean?
Red Robin: *whips out his phone and scrolls past about a hundred folders full of photos and case files before reaching one requiring a retinal scan to unlock*
Red Robin: *sighs deeply and aligns his eyes to the scanner*
Red Robin: You jerks better promise me you won’t judge me.
Red Robin:
Nightwing: …
Red Hood: …
Robin: …
To be continued?
Struggling too much? *jumps off the ceiling* then here,have a mazapán *toss one mazapán to each bat kid*
Red Hood: *checking out the mazapán he just caught* What the – *looks up at the ceiling, then at @vecino-amigable-aracnido-jr, then back at the ceiling* Where –
Nightwing: *grinning at @vecino-amigable-aracnido-jr, impressed and about to bite into the mazapán* Nice landing. And thanks for this.
Robin: *grabs the mazapán from Dick’s hand* -Tt- You should know better than to just accept sweets from otherworldly strangers, Grayson.
@vecino-amigable-aracnido-jr: *throws another mazapán at Dick, who single-handedly catches it without looking*
Nightwing: *pops the candy into his mouth* That’s only applies when you haven’t tried them, Little D. They’re, as they say, delicioso. Jessica C hands ‘em out during Justice League lunches.
Red Hood: *examining the treat* Why do I feel like I’ve tried these before, but like, they’re called marzap – mirzi –
Batwoman: *walks out of the shadows*
Red Hoodand Batwoman: Marzipan!
Red Hood: Kate, how did you –
Batwoman: I’m not sure, Jasón – Did I just call you Jasón?
Nightwing [to @vecino-amigable-aracnido-jr]: *rolls his eyes* Don’t worry about them. They’re just having some kind of flashback of an alternate reality or something.
Red Robin: *slow-clapping sarcastically* Good job revealing our secret identities, team. Keep it up.
Robin: *yelling from across the room* Oh, that one’s name is “Loser Drake”!
Red Robin: Are you done being “mature”, Damian? ‘Cause I really think we should start figuring out what’s what before Batman arrives.
To be continued…
Nightwing: *patting dust off his recently unearthed 80’s uniform* Well, excuse me, my fashion-impaired friends, I am here to tell you that collars are back.
Red Hood: And this time they’ve ganged up to form one giant, super collar.
Nightwing: *shrugs* They need our help, guys.
Red Hood: Yeah, but… This is… W-What if we… I don’t know, it’s… I don’t know. Shouldn’t we run this by Bruce first?
Robin: Ha! Father would never agree, so I say we just go doit. I bet I could get Kent to sneak into his father’s Fortress of Sadness or whatever and find us something that could help us get there –
Red Hood: *holds up a hand to stop him* Little D, I get it. I died, you died, yet we’re both standing here. A crisis rebooting our universe is basically just Tuesday for all of us. But this? We’re talking other universe-universe. Like, an outside-of-our-entire-freakin’-Multiverse universe, like even Mr. Mxyzptlk –
Nightwing: Jason’s got a point. None of us has ever gone that far. We didn’t even know it existed before this message from… @vecino-amigable-aracnido-jr., who seems to be some kind of… Spiderman.
Red Robin: *clears his throat* That’s not… completely true.
Nightwing: What do you mean?
Red Robin: *whips out his phone and scrolls past about a hundred folders full of photos and case files before reaching one requiring a retinal scan to unlock*
Red Robin: *sighs deeply and aligns his eyes to the scanner*
Red Robin: You jerks better promise me you won’t judge me.
Red Robin:
Nightwing: …
Red Hood: …
Robin: …
To be continued?
Nightwing: *staring at broken frames with pictures of Batman and Jason as Robin in them*
Red Hood: *shrugs* We deal with stress differently. You reminisce. I smash things.
– • – • – • – • –
Like you weren’t crying like a baby while doing it, Jay.
Red Robin: *panicking because, for the first time in like forvever, he’s stumped by a supervillain computer program that’s right in front of him*
Nightwing: *slaps him playfully on the back* I’ve seen you hack a thermometer, Tim. This is amateur hour.
Red Robin: Y-you kn-know this software… ?
Nightwing: *standing behind Tim, making the “don’t-mind-him-he’s-only-had-like-eight-minutes-of-sleep-for-the-past-three-days” face at @hotschott1*
Red Robin: Who trained you? And why are you helping us infiltrate an enemy base?
Nightwing [to @hotschott1]: 🙄😏
Nightwing: We’re at home, Tim. This is literally the Batcomputer.
Tim: *turns on his boombox and tunes it to an 80s pop music station*
Tim: *gets up on the table and starts dancing the “running man”*
Bruce:
Dick:
Babs:
Jason:
Steph:
Cass:
Damian: -Tt-
Duke:
Alfred:
Tim: I’m rocking so much adrenaline right now! My blood is basically Red Bull!
Alfred: *nods at Jason*
Jason: *tackles Tim in the middle of the “cabbage patch”*
Alfred: *waits for the table to be cleared of his grandsons, then lays out breakfast entrèes for everyone*
– • – • – • – • –
Good morning from the Manor!
Red Robin: *panicking because, for the first time in like forvever, he’s stumped by a supervillain computer program that’s right in front of him*
Nightwing: *slaps him playfully on the back* I’ve seen you hack a thermometer, Tim. This is amateur hour.
Driving away from a monster attacking Gotham City be like…
Nightwing: *looking through the rear window of the Batmobile* Uh, guys –
Red Robin: *sitting next to Dick, desperately trying to gain remote control of the Batjet using his communicator*
Robin: *riding shotgun* -Tt- You were picked for a reason, Todd! You’re supposed to be our reckless driver!
Red Hood: *about to drive the Batmobile through a burning building* I’m driving as recklessly as I can!
Superman: *depowered in a Kryptonite-lined cage*
Wonder Woman: *tied up by her own lasso*
The Flash: *weakened by a low blood sugar level*
Green Lantern: *closing and opening a ring-less hand*
Batman: *walks into the room*
Robin: *comes out from under his cape*
Green Lantern: You got a kid with you? Greaaaat. And you’re the ones saving us?
Mission briefing…
Batman: *clears his throat loudly* So unless anybody *glares at Tim for two whole seconds* has any more mythical creatures to suggest as a name for the new vehicle, we’re gonna stick with: the Warthog. How about it, Tim?
Red Robin: Nope. No more suggestions.
Batman: Hn. Okay, now if you’ll all –
Red Hood: *blurting out* Are you sure? How ‘bout “Big Foot”?
Red Robin: *gritting his teeth* It’s okay.
Nightwing: *trying to stifle his laughter* “Unicorn”?
Red Robin: *gripping his bo staff tighter* No, really. I’m… I’m cool.
Robin: *smirking* “Sasquatch”?
The Signal: *elbowing Tim* “Leprechaun”?
Red Robin: *elbowing Duke back and getting really annoyed* Hey, he doesn’t need any help, guys.
Spoiler: *yelling as she enters the Batcave* “Phoenix”?
Red Robin: *sighs and rubs his face in frustration* Guys.
Batman: *grinning* Barbara, what’s the name of that Mexican lizard? Eats all the goats.
Batgirl: *sarcastically looking it up on the Batcomputer* Uh, that would be the Chupacabra, Bruce.
Orphan: *drops down from the ceiling* Tim, Chupa-thingy, how ’bout that? I like it. Got a ring to it.
Red Robin: *attempts to melt onto the Batcave floor*
incorrect-batfamily-quotes 