When missions be like…
Robin: Nobody warned us about this.
Aqualad: You mean, why didn’t we listen when everybody warned us?
Tag: dick grayson
At the Watchtower…
Justice League: *watching surveillance, Youtube and news footage on the mainframe computer*
Batman: *walks into the room and sees Nightwing, Red Hood, Red Robin, Robin and Lark (and a bunch of burning buildings and screaming citizens) on the screen*
Superman: *arms crossed*
Wonder Woman: *hands on hips, shaking her head*
Aquaman: *raises an eyebrow*
The Flash: *wide-eyed*
Green Lantern: *biting his lip to suppress a smirk*
Cyborg: Wo-ho-hoooooo.
Batman: Hn.
Batman: Whatever they did, add it to my tab.
Batman: *walks out*
And if you were convinced that Batman went back to work at the Watchtower after walking calmly and collectedly out of that room, then you probably didn’t even consider that he’d run to the teleporters at top speed to get back to Earth and do damage control (a.k.a. give his kids a piece of his mind).
Watching as a Godzilla-like creature terrorizes Gotham City…
Nightwing: *lighting up his escrima sticks* What do you give for our odds? About 50-50?
Red Hood: *doing a mental inventory of the explosives in his suit* That’s what I like about you, Dick. You’re an optimist.
Wally: *instantly regretful of his word-vomit* I gotta bribe you to keep you quiet?
Dick: I don’t call it a bribe. I call it cereal.
The Signal: *feeling dejected after receiving “The Talk” from Batman after a mission gone awry*
Nightwing: *putting a comforting arm on his shoulder* Hey, don’t listen to Bruce.
Red Hood: *opening a bottle of beer using a batarang lying around* We don’t.
Tim and Damian: *throwing threats at each other*
Dick and Jason: *watching from the couch, eating popcorn*
Dick: Jay, who would you choose? Timmy or Dami?
Jason: It’s none of our business. Tim.
Dick: When are you gonna take time to be a kid?
Damian: In my mid-20’s, like you.
Dick: I’d ask Bruce to ground you for that, but then I wouldn’t have anyone to play with.
tonight’s obsession: circumstances that lead to the Batfamily giving up and calling an uber
Nightwing: *speaking in a hushed tone* No, no, B, look, just –
Nightwing: *hissing* Will you stop that please? You’re breaking the freakin’ door! You want to buy this nice gentleman a brand new car, is that what you want?
Batman: *snorts, then let’s go of the door handle and glares at the window*
Nightwing: There. Was that so hard? Now, relax. As I was saying, once in a while, it’s nice to let someone else take the wheel, you know? To just let go of that consuming urge to control everything and everyone and –
Driver: *eyeing them through the rear view mirror* So, you two headed to the Gotham Comic Con?
Batman: Hrrrn.
Nightwing: Yes, yes, that’s exactly it.
If the Batboys had entrance music when they entered a battlefield…
DICK’s would be “Death of a Bachelor” by Panic! At the Disco…
JASON’s, “Heathens” by twenty one pilots…
TIM’s, “Basketcase” by Green Day…
And, DAMIAN’s, “The Imperial March” by John Williams.
Dick: …
Tim: *two black eyes and a broken arm*
Damian: *three missing teeth*
Dick: *sighs and gestures to two chairs in front of him*
Dick: Why don’t you tell me what happened, and in a gentle and loving way, I’ll explain to you why you’re both wrong.
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