Dick and Jason: *watching as Tim downs his fourth cup of coffee, spilling some on his ketchup and mustard-stained shirt, burps loudly, and wipes dried slobber off his face*
Dick: *sighs*
Jason: I love him, but if he’s broken, let’s ask Bruce not to get a new one.
Superman: *throws his hands up in exasperation* Thank you, @hillshollow !
Batman: Hn.
Superman: Just this morning, at breakfast, for crying out loud!*imitating Bruce’s voice* “Clark, pass the ketchup.” Tone. “Jordan, you seem to enjoy eating garbage.” Tone. “Diana –” Well, you did dial it down for that one.
Batman: *puffing out his chest and putting his hands on his hips* And this is necessary at all times?
Superman:
Superman: *eyes glowing red* ARGH! *walks out of the hall*
Superman: There’s just no winning with you, Bruce!
When your bestfriend accuses you of unnecessarily intimidating someone…
Superman: You say I have a face.
Batman: *scoffs*
Superman:You have a tone, and it says, “I’m gonna hit somebody.”
Red Robin: @paranoidmedic, ha! Like that one time when Bruce said –
Red Hood: Tim, don’t you DARE –
Red Robin: – “I – ”
Red Hood: *tackles Tim to the ground*
Red Robin: *struggling to speak while being smothered by Jason’s letter jacket* Bru- Bruce s-s-said – Jason, get orfff –
Red Hood: You shut your pie hole!
Robin: Father told him he loved him.
Nightwing: In the middle of an argument. It was touching, really.
Robin: Todd stopped moving.
Red Robin: *sputtering* O-or b-breath-breathing, as if died aga– Ow, Jay! –
Nightwing: I think he’s afraid that Bruce’s going to surprise him with affection again.
Robin: -Tt- It is kind of hard to tell with Father’s tone.
Red Hood: *screams in agony*
Red Hood: *dramatically takes out two machine guns from underneath his leather jacket*
Red Hood: *clears his throat, then switches to Tony Montana’s accent* Say hello to my little friends!
The Signal: Uh, dude, I don’t think they meant we should cause the riot –
Red Robin: *yelling a la-Tarzan while grapple-hooking from wall to wall*
Goliath: *taking ground-shaking steps around the Batcave with Damian on his back*
Robin: *laughing tyranically*
Nightwing: *carrying a crate of glowsticks and party poppers* Hey, y’all started without –
Nightwing:
Nightwing: It’s Alfred. RUN!
Alfred: *walking into a seemingly empty Batcave and speaking to seemingly no one* Dinner is served. If you wish to partake of it, I suggest you all make better life decisions from this moment on.
Alfred: And you – *looking squarely at @kittyofalltrades* – may join us.
Alfred: *walks out*
The Batboys: *scurries out of their hiding places and runs after him*
The Signal: *looks back at @kittyofalltrades* So, uh, you coming?
Damian: You know, I finally get why you and Father butted heads so much. You two are practically the same person. I mean, I worshipped the man, you know? I dressed like him, I acted like him, I listened to the same music. But you are more like him than I will ever be. I see that now.
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