Peace time at Gotham City be like…
Dick: *sighs*
Damian: *yawns* – Tt –
Tim: *searches for “shark-repellent Bat-spray” on Amazon.com*
Jason: *stretches muscles, then lays back down on couch*
Dick: Gotta save someone.
Tim: Know the feeling.
Tag: dick grayson
When you see Bruce having breakfast while reading a newspaper at eight in the morning…
Dick: Bruce, are you feeling okay? You’re acting… normal.
dick: i am here
dick: for my CHILD
kory: i’m here also for our child but i’m the chill one
kory: you said you didn’t want to be robin anymore
dick: i’m great
kory: unless you’re having EMOTIONS
dick: i have so manY
kory: how long have you been watching me sleep
dick: twelve hours
kory: okay the normal amount for you
dick: listen you’re my soulmate and i love you
dick: i’ll be back in like a week don’t have any sudden traumatic realizations of who you are
dick: like if you’re an alien, or something
kory: what
The Signal: *feeling dejected after receiving “The Talk” from Batman after a mission gone awry*
Nightwing: *putting a comforting arm on his shoulder* Hey, don’t listen to Bruce.
Red Hood: *opening a bottle of beer using a batarang lying around* We don’t.
Red Robin: @paranoidmedic, ha! Like that one time when Bruce said –
Red Hood: Tim, don’t you DARE –
Red Robin: – “I – ”
Red Hood: *tackles Tim to the ground*
Red Robin: *struggling to speak while being smothered by Jason’s letter jacket* Bru- Bruce s-s-said – Jason, get orfff –
Red Hood: You shut your pie hole!
Robin: Father told him he loved him.
Nightwing: In the middle of an argument. It was touching, really.
Robin: Todd stopped moving.
Red Robin: *sputtering* O-or b-breath-breathing, as if died aga– Ow, Jay! –
Nightwing: I think he’s afraid that Bruce’s going to surprise him with affection again.
Robin: -Tt- It is kind of hard to tell with Father’s tone.
Red Hood: *screams in agony*
Batman:
Martian Manhunter:
Batman:
Martian Manhunter: *frowning*
Batman:
Martian Manhunter: *glares at Bruce, flips his cape, and storms out, looking offended*
Batman: J’onn, hold on, what –
Batman: Can’t a man think in private anymore?
Batman: Barry, could you –
The Flash: It wasn’t me, I swear! *runs away*
Batman: About Gotham Bay, Arthur –
Aquaman: I am not in the mood, Bruce. *swims away*
Batman:
Batman: Hrrn.
Superman: *standing next to Bruce* 😏
Batman: -Tt-
Batman: Go ahead, Clark. Fly away.
Superman: Noooope.
Batman: Ugh. *walks away*
Superman: Right, @dangerous-doodle ?
Superman: *throws his hands up in exasperation* Thank you, @hillshollow !
Batman: Hn.
Superman: Just this morning, at breakfast, for crying out loud! *imitating Bruce’s voice* “Clark, pass the ketchup.” Tone. “Jordan, you seem to enjoy eating garbage.” Tone. “Diana –” Well, you did dial it down for that one.
Batman: *puffing out his chest and putting his hands on his hips* And this is necessary at all times?
Superman:
Superman: *eyes glowing red* ARGH! *walks out of the hall*
Superman: There’s just no winning with you, Bruce!
Batman:
Batman: *smirks*
I imagine ‘that tone’ is Bruce’s usual voice…🤔
When your bestfriend accuses you of unnecessarily intimidating someone…
Superman: You say I have a face.
Batman: *scoffs*
Superman: You have a tone, and it says, “I’m gonna hit somebody.”
Mar’i: *cradling a dead bird and sobbing*
Jason: I’ve been through this before, Sweetheart. When your Uncle Damian was fourteen, I was supposed to take care of his parakeet. It got out and flew into a fan. It was like a bloody pillow fight.
Mar’i: DAAAADDDDYYY!!!
~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~
In which Dick (reluctantly) reconsiders caffeine-addicted Uncle Tim for babysitting.
Right before he got a taste of the infamous Dick Grayson temper…
Deathstroke: Nightwing, that’s a nice tan… But I’m surprised you get any sun at all, considering how much time you spend in Batman’s shadow.
incorrect-batfamily-quotes 