When your detective of a father asks you and your brothers what happened to the Batmobile…
Bruce [to Dick, Jason, Tim, and Damian]: *narrows eyes*
Bruce: Usually, when everything’s normal, people don’t respond in perfectly rehearsed unison.
Tag: dick grayson
What Batman’s day is really like…
Dick: *watching on as one of his brothers does something*
Dick: Bruce? Did you just see – ?
Bruce: Yes. I’ll deal with that tomorrow.
Preparing for Family Patrol Night…
Robin: *adjusting Goliath’s leash* What, Todd, for the first time ever, doesn’t want to do this?
Nightwing: *stuffing cereal packets into strategic places in his suit* No, no, he does. It’s just that he’s been so mopey.
Red Robin: *checking the coordinates of a supervillain’s lair on the Batcomputer* Well, that could have something to do with the fact that today’s his death anniversary.
Nightwing: I don’t know what it is.
Red Robin: I think that’s what it is.
Robin: -Tt- Who knows with him?
Red Robin: *looks into the camera like he’s on “The Office”*
Paintball war at the Manor…
Dick: *whispering* Why did the Resurrected Robins stop firing?
Tim: *listening to every sound* I don’t know… They’re probably out of ammo.
Jason: *yelling from a makeshift fort in Damian’s room* Hey, Fake-Dead Robins, we are giving you a chance to surrender!
Dick: *aims his paintball marker at the draped Batman bedsheet* Yeah, they’re definitely out of ammo.
Jason: *reloading*
Tim: *yelling from behind a grandfather clock* Real guns don’t count, dude!
Damian: –
Dick: *yelling from beside Tim* Neither do blades, Little D, sorry!
Damian: *putting his katana back in his closet* -Tt-
~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~
Jay’s got ammo, alright. @jasontoddbestafterdeath
When your eldest brother asks you to look after his Blüdhaven apartment while he’s away on a mission…
Red Robin: Oh, come on, Dick’s a grown man. He can take care of himself.
Red Hood: *opens the refrigerator to reveal a bottle of curdy milk, a half-eaten sandwich, and a bowl of soggy Cheerios*
Red Hood: *looking unimpressed* You really believe that?
Jason [to Dick]: Do you prefer “fashion victim” or “ensemble-y challenged”?
Red Tornado: Kid Flash has been implanted with several highly powerful tracking devices.
Robin: How did that happen?!
Red Tornado: I left them in a bowl and he ate them.
When your faux fiancée won’t believe how nosy your siblings can be…
Tim [to Tam]: As soon as we touch, the blinds will open, and three annoying, but lovable, misfits will be staring at us.
~ • ~ • ~ • ~
And one creepy, but loveable, Batdad will be spying through binoculars from three rooftops away.
Dick: *reads newspaper article about the Drake-Wayne/Fox engagement*
Dick [to Tim]: You intended to propose without telling me, your eldest and most good-looking brother?!
Bomb diffusal…
Robin [on the Comm Link]: What’s going on?
Superboy: The timer sped up!
Robin: What? Did you cut the green wire?
Kid Flash: Yes! Roger! Steven! Whoever!
Robin: What were the last two letters?
Kid Flash: B as in Butthole!
Superboy: Dick, what do we do here?
Kid Flash: And M as in Mancy!
Robin: What?
Supeboy: M as in what?
Kid Flash: Mancy. What did you think I said?
Robin: “Nancy”! You idiot!
Superboy: Dick, tell me what to do!
Robin: So, do ya’ll have parachutes?
Superboy: No!
Robin: Well, that would’ve been, you know, problem solved.
Superboy: Dick!
Robin: I don’t know. Push it off with your big-ass hands. Good luck, dudes.
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