Tag: dick grayson

incorrect-batfamily-quotes:

When Batgrandpa gets fed up (because you’re wrecking all the furniture in the Manor)…

Alfred: All of you be. Quiet.

Alfred: Master Timothy, Miss Stephanie’s mad because you said “awesome sauce” instead of “I love you, too”.

Alfred: Miss Stephanie, he loves you. Stop being a child.

Alfred: Master Dick, you’re clearly at fault here. Blaming Master Jason won’t save you.

Alfred: And, Master Jason, we both know you were hanging out with Bizarro instead of watching over Master Damian like you promised.

Alfred: So. *looks around at his stunned grandchildren, who are bruised and battered from trying to “resolve” things earlier*

Alfred: Everyone apologize to everyone else. Now.

—

What would this family do without him?

Alfred: *hears the floor creak behind him*

Alfred: *turns around to see a deer caught in the headlights* And, you, Master Bruce, may not be excused.

Oh, ancient Wayne Manor floor, you are a traitor.

When Batgrandpa gets fed up (because you’re wrecking all the furniture in the Manor)…

Alfred: All of you be. Quiet.

Alfred: Master Timothy, Miss Stephanie’s mad because you said “awesome sauce” instead of “I love you, too”.

Alfred: Miss Stephanie, he loves you. Stop being a child.

Alfred: Master Richard, you’re clearly at fault here. Blaming Master Jason won’t save you.

Alfred: And, Master Jason, we both know you were hanging out with Bizarro instead of watching over Master Damian like you promised.

Alfred: So. *looks around at his stunned grandchildren, who are bruised and battered from trying to “resolve” things earlier*

Alfred: Everyone apologize to everyone else. Now.

What would this family do without him?

When you and your brothers choose to ditch patrol and have an impromptu picnic instead…

Red Robin: Uh, guys? We don’t have the ingredients for S’mores. 

Red Hood: We do.

Nightwing, Red Robin, and Robin: *stare at him*

Red Hood: What? I always have emergency S’more rations in my motorcycle. 

He’s got a lighter in case you want an impromptu bonfire, too.

When you teach your sons how to be financially responsible and ask them to present an account of their expenses…

Dick, Jason, Tim, and Damian *hand over haphazardly stacked pieces of paper*

Bruce: Hn.

Bruce: Most of these aren’t even receipts. This one says, “I bought a Robmobile, 2010″.  

When your brothers are all set to go Trick-or-Treating but you’re still on the Batcomputer working on a case…

Dick (in a merman costume): Timmy… ?

Jason (in a Bizarro costume): He’s wearing a costume. He’s going as lame.

When Alfred’s away on vacation and you’ve got to do the grocery shopping yourself…

Bruce [to clerk]: I would like twelve eggs…

Bruce: *tries to read Dick’s smudged handwriting on his palm* … and part of a dead animal. Dealer’s choice. Please and thank you. 

Training sessions at the Batcave be like…

Batman: *powers off the villain generator*

Batman: *watches as his sons get up from the various places they ended up in, dust off their bloody and singed suits, and groan in pain*

Batman: …

Batman: Well, this simulated disaster is a total disaster.

Alfred: *goes upstairs to grab some tea and medical supplies*   

And it’s this familiarity with homemade disasters that makes the Robins experts on the field.

Red Robin: *crouching behind the giant coin in the Batcave*

Nightwing: *walks in*

Red Robin: *to his walkie-talkie* The Hug Machine is here. I repeat, the Hug Machine is here. Smiling on all cylinders.

The rest of the Batfamily: *temporarily stop brooding to find hiding places*  

Dick tends to get in the way of angst and sadness.

At the Annual Justice League Talent Competition… 

Robin: *watches his brothers performing onstage* 

Robin: That is my band. I didn’t recognize them without me because I’m the only one that matters.

And this is why they kicked you out, Dami.