Tim: *wearing a Superboy t-shirt and standing majestically with his chest heaving after sprinting for dramatic effect*

Dick: *cups his hands into a voice amplifier* It’s a bird! It’s a plane!

Jason: *walks past them to grab a can of beer from the fridge* It’s super out of breath.

Tim: Happy Halloween to you, too.

Jason: Dick isn’t the only hottie living in the Manor. I washed the Batmobile in my old Robin shorts the other day. I definitely felt eyes on me.


Yes. Those were Damian’s. Right before he vomited.

Also, those scaly spandex briefs (leotards?) sure are stretchable.

Tim: *walks in on Dick and Jason excitedly discussing the previous night’s events*

Tim: *wiping dried-up drool off from his face and onto his coffee-stained pajamas*

Tim: What party?

Jason: Aw. The two saddest words in the English language.

Dick and Barbara: *watching Damian jump from one gigantic memento to another in the Batcave*

Barbara: He is kind of adorable.

Dick: I know! Isn’t he? Remember when Jason was like this?

Jason: What the heck do you people say when I’m not here?

Alfred: *cutting off Dick’s atrocious ponytailed hair*

Tim: *walks into the Batcave, wiping the sleep from his eyes*

Tim: *yawns* What’s going on, Alfred? Are we poor?


Nah. He just didn’t have enough patience to bring your brother all the way to the barber, Timmy. The tail had to go.

Wayne Manor, 3 AM…

Dick: *teary-eyed, sniffling, and sneezing*

Dick: *heads to the kitchen and pours himself a glass of milk*

Dick: *pauses when he hears swift, clicking sounds*

Dick: *thinks to himself, “WTF?!”, and grabs an escrima stick from a secret compartment behind the refrigerator*

Dick: *wipes his nose with the back of his hand and prepares to pounce on the silhouette by the breakfast table*

Dick: aaaaaAAAHHH –

Tim: *swivels around, dead-eyed and on his sixty-fourth cup of coffee*

Tim: I typed your symptoms on my laptop here. And it says you could have Network Connectivity Problems.


@prison-mikes-bandana, an updated version. Haha.

Leaving your grandsons at the Manor to run some errands be like…

Alfred: *hands over the cordless phone to Dick*

Alfred: *gives him, Jason, Tim, and Damian “The Look”*

Alfred: I pre-dialed 9-1-1, so all you have to do is press “Send”.


You know them so well, Alfie.