Tim: *whispering* What’s your hurry?
Jason: *grabbing his leather jacket and kicking three-day-old garbage underneath the sofa* This place is depressing.
Dick: *yelling from the kitchen* Hey! I live here!
Jason: *yelling back* And I’m sure it’s a blast once you get used to it!
~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~
Maybe if you cleaned up once in a while before these family visits, Nightwing…
Tag: dick grayson
Family Patrol Night…
Batman: *setting up surveillance equipment on the rooftop*
Robin: *watching the traffic down below while perched atop a gargoyle*
Nightwing: *balancing on the ledge (y’know, upside-down and on one hand, the yoosh)*
Red Robin: Jay, I have a riddle for you. What’s the sound of one hand clapping?
Red Hood: Piece of cake. *opens and closes his fist quickly, which makes a faint sound*
Red Robin: No, man. It’s a 3000-year-old riddle with no answer. It’s supposed to clear your mind of conscious thought.
Red Hood: No answer? Timmy, listen up. *quickly opens and closes his fist again*
Batman: Hn. *smirks*
Nightwing: *giggles and almost loses his balance*
Robin: -Tt-
When you’re curious to find out what you could’ve been had you not met Batman…
S.T.A.R. Labs Scientist: Here are your scientifically selected careers.
Batgirl: “Architect”. Nice.
The Signal: “Insurance salesman”. Uhhh, right.
Spoiler: “Salmon gutter”? What in the –
Robin: “Military strongman”. -Tt-
Red Robin: “Systems analyst”. *shrugs*
Nightwing: “Homemaker”?
S.T.A.R. Labs Scientist: Mm-hm. It’s like a mommy.
Red Hood: “Police officer”? Well, I’ll be jiggered.
Red Hood: *unconscious on the floor*
Nightwing: Well?
Red Robin: *checks Red Hood’s pulse* He’ll live.
Robin: What, no brain damage?
Red Robin: If he has some, it happened way before tonight and was probably self-inflicted.
Red Hood: *gets up* Ahhh, good times.
jason: in my defense, i was left unsupervised.
bruce: wasn’t dick with you?
dick: in my defense, i was left unsupervised, too.
8 year old Dick: uncle Clark, how high could you throw me?
Bruce, flustered: Dick, no. We’ve spoken about this.
Bruce: I just don’t want you to lie to me, Dick. I don’t want you to ever lie to me. Have I ever lied to you?
Dick: Yeah.
Bruce:
Bruce: I just don’t want you to.
Bruce: I’m going to count to ten.
Dick: …
Jason: …
Bruce: …
Dick: Are- are you counting in your head?
Bruce: Yeah.
Jason: What number are you up to?
Bruce: Seven.
Jason: Oh
Dick and Jason: *scramble to run away from Bruce*
When you realize that maybe it isn’t a good idea to pair up your two younger brothers for patrol just yet…
Red Robin and Robin: *storm into the Batcave, shoving each other out of the way, and immediately head to opposite directions*
Red Robin: *swearing angrily under his breath*
Robin: -Tt-
Nightwing: Um…
Red Robin: *glowers at Damian while stripping off his uniform*
Robin: *hisses at Tim, grabs Alfred the Cat, and goes upstairs to his bedroom*
Nightwing: So…
Red Robin: The brat followed me home. Can we keep him? Can we keep him? Say no, Dick!
Bruce: I don’t have favorites.
Dick: Then how come Duke has an allowance?
Tim: Duke gets an allowance? How come I never got one?
Damian: Because you’re rich too, genius.
Steph: How come I didn’t get an allowance?
Dick: Do you even live here?
Jason: He gets an allowance? I had to pay to be here!
Alfred: That was a swear jar, there is a difference.
incorrect-batfamily-quotes 