Batman: *walks into the Watchtower’s Hall of Justice*
Batman: *narrows his eyes* Hn.
Batman: *swiftly turns on the light*
Everyone: SURPRISE, BRUCE!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! *confetti explosions, colorful bat-shaped balloons, tooting horns*
Batman: *wide-eyed, open-mouthed and motionless*
Wonder Woman: *checks him for a pulse*
Superman: *whispers in his ear* I know it’s your specialty, but let’s try not to overthink this one, okay?
~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~
Aww, you guys! Don’t scare him like that.
Taking a trip down memory lane be like…
Barry: Hal didn’t trust Bruce.
Clark: And Bruce didn’t trust Hal.
J’onn: That’s why they had lunch together every single week…?
Diana: To express their mutual distrust.
Barry and Clark: Exactly.
Arthur: *shrugs* Meh.
When your super best friend could give Saran wrap a lesson…
Batman: *ignores vibrations coming from his pocket*
Wonder Woman: How many times a day does Clark text you?
Batman: Hrrrn.
Batman: Just… 40.
“Batman v Superman” behind the scenes…
Wonder Woman [about him and Superman]: What is it with you two? You say you hate him, but the way you deal with him, it’s so clear. Even when you hate him, you still care about him.
Batman: I guess when you spend 78 years being someone’s friend, deciding to quit them is like losing a part of yourself… But sometimes the hate is just so powerful.
Red Hood: You probably never knew this, but back in my Robin days, I had a major crush on you.
Wonder Woman: I knew.
Red Hood: You probably just thought I was Nightwing’s dorky younger brother.
Wonder Woman: I did.
Batman and Superman: *arguing*
Martian Manhunter: …
Martian Manhunter [to Wonder Woman]: Do they know that they’re finishing each other’s sentences?
After becoming a staple in Justice League missions…
Superman: You’ve got quite a record, Jason.
Wonder Woman: Bruce must be proud.
Red Hood: Yeah. He hangs all my mug shots on the fridge.
Diana: In a good friendship, you never say, “I told you so".
Clark: Which is good for me because Bruce’s always right.
Discussing parenting styles…
Diana: You need to let this go. Look, I get it. You love Cass, you want to protect her. It’s actually really sweet.
Bruce: But you don’t approve of my tactics.
Diana: I’m in no position to judge. But I do feel sorry for your future daughter. Great Hera help that child.
The Flash: *covers eyes* Wow. Wowsers.
Wonder Woman: This is not what it looks like.
Superman: Right. We were just…
Batman: No. I do not need the details.
Green Lantern: *shrugs* I wouldn’t mind a few details.
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