Batman: *walks into the Watchtower’s Hall of Justice*
Batman: *narrows his eyes* Hn.
Batman: *swiftly turns on the light*
Everyone: SURPRISE, BRUCE!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! *confetti explosions, colorful bat-shaped balloons, tooting horns*
Batman: *wide-eyed, open-mouthed and motionless*
Wonder Woman: *checks him for a pulse*
Superman: *whispers in his ear* I know it’s your specialty, but let’s try not to overthink this one, okay?
~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~
Aww, you guys! Don’t scare him like that.
Tag: diana prince
When Bruce and Clark met Diana…
Batman: *staring intently at Wonder Woman from across the room* Come stand next to me.
Superman: Why?
Batman: So she doesn’t think I’m creepy.
Superman: Well, you are creepy.
Batman: I realize this. That’s why I need you.
Batman: *holding Damian by the scruff of the neck*
Robin: *growling and attempting to free himself*
Batman: This is, uh… *clears his throat* This is my son.
Wonder Woman: Your offspring is adorable! May I keep him?
Nightwing: *panting after having sprinted from across the hall* NO! No, you – you certainly may n-not!
Superman: *wrestling with Metallo* AarRgghhh!
Wonder Woman: *fending off Cheetah* AaahhhHhh!
Superman: Dia.. na… Right now we need an advantage –
Wonder Woman: *about to call Green Lantern, who just defeated a Yellow Lantern, from a few feet away*
Superman: – and that advantage is Bruce.
Bonus:
Batman: *landing the Batjet next to them 0.0000001 s after hearing that* Hn.
Superman: *depowered in a Kryptonite-lined cage*
Wonder Woman: *tied up by her own lasso*
The Flash: *weakened by a low blood sugar level*
Green Lantern: *closing and opening a ring-less hand*
Batman: *walks into the room*
Robin: *comes out from under his cape*
Green Lantern: You got a kid with you? Greaaaat. And you’re the ones saving us?
Batman: My life expectancy is at 90 years. My life is more than a third over.
Wonder Woman: Want to trade?
~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~
Get out of here with your facts, Bruce. You could outlive a character from the Fifth Dimension.
Batman: *trips over the Lasso of Truth*
Batman: I suppose I like hanging around you guys. I don’t know why.
Superman: Thank you?
Wonder Woman: I’m not sure that was a compliment.
Batman: *working on a case by himself in the Hall of Justice*
Superman and Wonder Woman: *watching him*
Superman: *whispering* The good news is, he’s the best at what he does.
Wonder Woman: *whispering back* The bad news is, he knows it.
At the Annual Justice League Halloween Party…
Clark: I’m a prince!
Diana: I’m a mermaid!
Bruce: I’m Batman.
Batman: *walks into the Watchtower’s Hall of Justice*
Batman: *narrows his eyes* Hn.
Batman: *swiftly turns on the light*
Everyone: SURPRISE, BRUCE!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! *confetti explosions, colorful bat-shaped balloons, tooting horns*
Batman: *wide-eyed, open-mouthed and motionless*
Wonder Woman: *checks him for a pulse*
Superman: *whispers in his ear* I know it’s your specialty, but let’s try not to overthink this one, okay?
~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~
Aww, you guys! Don’t scare him like that.
incorrect-batfamily-quotes 