Tag: damian wayne

When you’re on the way to a suspect’s location and Waze is down (or Red Robin’s not answering for some reason *rolls eyes*)…

Robin: To which city are we near?

Nightwing: Coast! Fawcett! Oh, oh, Gateway!

Red Hood: Okay, why are you even answering?

When you’re weary from patrol and craving for some shut-eye only to find intruders in your safe house…

Red Hood: …

Nightwing: *rummaging through the cabinets*

Red Robin: *installing security cameras in the living room*

Robin: *examining the samurai swords hanging on the wall*

Red Hood: I gave you my passcode for emergencies.

Robin:

Red Robin:

Nightwing: We were out of Doritos.

incorrect-batfamily-quotes:

When you overstay your welcome at Red Hood’s safe house…

Jason: *hopping over mounds of bloody patrol suits and broken weapons while picking up dirty dishes*

Tim and Damian: *playing Injustice 2 on Xbox while yelling threats at each other*

Dick: *pouring milk on his cereal and spilling some on the carpet*

Jason: I don’t know when I became a dad to three lazy teenagers, but it stops today. You guys are cleaning this place up, top to bottom!

Dick: Hey, we don’t even live here!

Jason: Yes or no, do you have clothes in my laundry right now?

incorrect-batfamily-quotes:

When you overstay your welcome at Red Hood’s safe house…

Jason: *hopping over mounds of bloody patrol suits and broken weapons while picking up dirty dishes*

Tim and Damian: *playing Injustice 2 on Xbox while yelling threats at each other*

Dick: *pouring milk on his cereal and spilling some on the carpet*

Jason: I don’t know when I became a dad to three lazy teenagers, but it stops today. You guys are cleaning this place up, top to bottom!

Dick: Hey, we don’t even live here!

Jason: Yes or no, do you have clothes in my laundry right now?

incorrect-batfamily-quotes:

Batman: *studying a case on the Batcomputer*

Nightwing: *parkour-ing from giant memento to giant memento in the Batcave*

Red Hood: *aiming at the bats with his guns (”What? For target practice!”)*

Red Robin: *rambles on about his Multiverse theories to Bruce while dragging around an IV stand with a pouch of pure liquid caffeine* 

Batgirl: *taking a selfie while Spoiler braids her hair*

Robin: *approaching Alfred with Batcow in tow (”I need more pet food, Pennyworth.”)*

Lark: *Snapchatting everyone while ducking to avoid Dick (”Typical Tuesdays”)*

Batman: *finds it hard to focus, stops typing*

Batman: *looks at the chaos that is his children*

Alfred: *serves Bruce some tea*

Batman: Alfred, this is like a waking nightmare of happiness.

Alfred: *grins and walks away*

Orphan: *hugs Bruce’s neck from behind*

Batman: *grins as his daughter skips away to join the fray*

incorrect-batfamily-quotes:

Family Patrol Night…

Batman: I will go in and do this quietly.

Red Hood: Well, if that doesn’t work, we will come in to make some noise. *cocks guns*

Nightwing: *lights up escrima sticks*

Red Robin: *twirls bo staff*

Robin: *brandishes sword*

Bonus:

Superman: *hovers and winks*

Bruce, what made you even think that they’d stay behind?

incorrect-batfamily-quotes:

When you realize that maybe it isn’t a good idea to pair up your two younger brothers for patrol just yet…

Red Robin and Robin: *storm into the Batcave, shoving each other out of the way, and immediately head to opposite directions*

Red Robin: *swearing angrily under his breath*

Robin: -Tt-

Nightwing: Um…

Red Robin: *glowers at Damian while stripping off his uniform*

Robin: *hisses at Tim, grabs Alfred the Cat, and goes upstairs to his bedroom*

Nightwing: So…

Red Robin: The brat followed me home. Can we keep him? Can we keep him? Say no, Dick!

Touring your best friend’s (humongous) bedroom be like…

Jon: *sees a sketch pad on an immaculately organized antique desk* What do you draw about?

Damian: Everything. Anything. My thoughts. My insights into the human condition.

Jon: Wow! Really? Do you mind if I —

Damian: If it will keep you quiet, please do.

~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~

Not how you treat your guests, but okay.