When your youngest brother wants to show you his appreciation…
Dick: You’re giving us… stickers?
Damian: Not just any sticker. Those are stickers of a kitty saying, “Me-wow!”.
Tim: We’re not preschoolers.
Damian: Fine, I’ll take them all back.
Jason: I earned this! Back off!
Tag: damian wayne
When it’s your last night at the Manor before you go back to your own safe house and your little brother’s being a creep…
Jason:
Jason: *eyelids fluttering*
Jason: *eyes wide open*
Damian:
Jason:
Damian: I’m listening to you snore. I’m wondering how I’ll ever sleep without it.
Jason: If it helps you sleep, then why are you perched on my bedpost staring at me like a tiny boogeyman?
Damian: Really, Todd? Insults? After I spent two hours in your closet waiting for you to fall asleep?
When you visit your eldest brother’s Blüdhaven apartment and ask him (authoritatively) to pick up after himself…
Damian: Why are you being a baby, Grayson?
Dick: I’m not a baby! I’m a grown man and I made my bed! Now where’s my Coco Crunch?
Dick: I can’t believe Tim’s sleeping.
Jason: I had the Little Brat give him two Valiums.
Dick: Why? Was he in a lot of pain?
Jason: Nah. He just wouldn’t shut up.
Damian: Is it okay if I do it for Grayson and not you?
Tim: Yeah.
Damian: Because I really like Grayson.
Jason: We know.
Batman: If you’re ever in the area, you’ll always have a place to stay…
Green Lantern:
Batman: In my son’s barn.
Green Lantern: There it is.
~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~
That’s sssuming Damian’ll allow it, Hal. And, Bruce, that’s not how you “accommodate” colleagues.
Preparing for Family Patrol Night…
Robin: *adjusting Goliath’s leash* What, Todd, for the first time ever, doesn’t want to do this?
Nightwing: *stuffing cereal packets into strategic places in his suit* No, no, he does. It’s just that he’s been so mopey.
Red Robin: *checking the coordinates of a supervillain’s lair on the Batcomputer* Well, that could have something to do with the fact that today’s his death anniversary.
Nightwing: I don’t know what it is.
Red Robin: I think that’s what it is.
Robin: -Tt- Who knows with him?
Red Robin: *looks into the camera like he’s on “The Office”*
At a Batfamily meeting…
Red Robin: *nudging and whispering* How’d you do that?
Red Hood: *whispering back* Do what?
Red Robin: *sounding impressed* You were, like, ten feet away from the brat.
Red Hood: *sounding innocent* What are you talking about?
Red Robin: *smirking* I know what I saw.
Red Hood: *grinning* What did you see?
Red Robin: *shrugging* I don’t know. Nothing.
~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~
A little while later…
Damian: ….
Damian: -Tt-
Damian: TOOOOODDDDDDDD!
Dick: You smited somebody?
Damian: Smote. The past tense of smite is smote.
Batman: *enters the Batcave, half-naked in a singed and tattered Batsuit*
Batman: *heads directly to the Batcomputer, limping, dripping blood on the ground*
Nightwing:
Red Robin:
Robin:
Alfred:
Red Hood: Did you get in a tickle fight with Edward Scissorhands?
incorrect-batfamily-quotes 