Tag: damian wayne

incorrect-batfamily-quotes:

Batman: *walks in on his children speaking in hushed tones and huddled by the Batcomputer, with Tim at the helm*

Red Hood: Dudes, what makes you think the old man’s not gonna know that we used his tech to do this?

Nightwing: If he does find out, I’ll handle it, okay? Aren’t you guys even the least bit curious of how many by now?

The Signal: Well, okay, I guess I am now. Let’s do this.

Robin: Father is going to be disappointed at this idiocy.

Red Robin: Pssh. Like that’s stopping you. Besides, this is the only computer on this Earth that can log on to Tumb–

Red Robin: I just got goosebumps. Guys, why did I just get goosebumps? And why isn’t anyone talking to me? Guys?

Red Robin: *slowly turns his seat*

Batman: *with narrowed eyes* Hrrrn.

Nigthwing: *smiling sheepishly* Heyyyy Bruuuuce…

Red Hood: *covering his mouth to stifle his giggling*

The Signal: We – we were just – uhhh –

Robin: I warned them, Father!

Red Robin: Why, you little – *lunges at Damian*

Nightwing: *jumps in to break Tim and Damian apart*

The Signal: *runs to the kitchen to get Alfred*

Red Hood: *takes out his phone and starts recording everything*

Batman:

Batman: *walks past his sons’ wrestling match to the Batcomputer*

Batman: *enters the password to the Tumblr account and looks at the number of followers*

Batman: Hn.

~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~

Your overwhelming support for this blog has gotten them excited, too.

With much appreciation,

a-wayne-at-heart/incorrect-batfamily-quotes

incorrect-batfamily-quotes:

When you see footage of your father, who’s bruised, bloodied, bound and being taunted by a villanous metahuman, on the Batcomputer screen…

Nightwing:

Red Hood:

Red Robin:

Robin:

Alfred: *clears his throat*

Alfred: Boys, he wouldn’t want you involved –

Robin: *pulls his sword from its scabbard and releases Goliath from his cage*

Red Robin: *tracks the source of the footage and hacks into its system*

Red Hood: *reloads his guns and straps on explosives*

Nightwing: *lights up his escrima sticks* We’re already involved. We’re family, Alfred.

~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~

I mean it’s not as if Alfred left that footage to stream for you to “accidentally” find against Batman’s orders… Right?

The Robins as…

a-wayne-at-heart:

GYM RATS

DICK:

  • Often mistaken for the instructor. That’s understandable – He’ll help anyone who looks like they’re having a tough time.
  • He’s… distracting. For obvious reasons.
  • But, actually, it’s his positive energy that’ll make you keep coming back to finish the grueling regimen.
  • Will sometimes come in wearing a very loud outfit that screams “80s” because he knows that it amuses some people, then backs it up with a few Flying Grayson-esque stunts. 

JASON:

  • The one that other gym rats steer clear of.
  • He’s basically a shadow in a dark corner of the gym pumping 200 lb of iron with one arm while smoking a cigarette with the other.
  • What’s with the bright green liquid in his blood-stained water bottle?
  • As “mythical” as he seems, he’s actually adorably polite to the employees. (They swear they’ve caught him wink at them.)

TIM:

  • The one wearing a Bluetooth headset and a watch monitoring all his vital signs.
  • Pre-installed surveillance cameras that feed information directly into his laptop, which he’s constantly checking out as he works out. 
  • The other board members of Wayne Enterprises have no idea that he’s actually on the treadmill while on an online conference with them. (Pretty fit, Timmy!)
  • *referring to the stuff in his water bottle* “Oh, this? It’s, um, pure liquid caffeine.”

DAMIAN:

  • “Whose kid is this?” a staff member announced, right before his finger broke “inexplicably”. (It never happened again.)
  • If people steer clear of Jason, they’d rather not come in at all when they know it’s this little guy’s day.
  • You know that thing when the person next to you’s so condescending that he can’t help but smirk loudly and mutter “weak” every time he sees you break a sweat, but you can’t really do anything about it because he’ll growl at you (and who knows what else)? Yeah.
  • Besides, it’s uncomfortable every time his cat (Pennyworth, is it?) sits on your face while you’re trying to bench-press.

Jason: hhhrrrRRRRRRAAAAGGGGH

Jason: *lifting Tim high up in the air with one arm*

Tim: *grinning smugly*

Dick: *sweating profusely while doing leg-ups with Damian sitting on his legs*

Damian: *grinning smugly back at Tim*

Me: *face-palms* Guys… This is unnecessary.

Me: *sighs* They’re just trying to impress you, @leftdelusiondestiny .

Thank you!

The Robins as…

a-wayne-at-heart:

GYM RATS

DICK:

  • Often mistaken for the instructor. That’s understandable – He’ll help anyone who looks like they’re having a tough time.
  • He’s… distracting. For obvious reasons.
  • But, actually, it’s his positive energy that’ll make you keep coming back to finish the grueling regimen.
  • Will sometimes come in wearing a very loud outfit that screams “80s” because he knows that it amuses some people, then backs it up with a few Flying Grayson-esque stunts. 

JASON:

  • The one that other gym rats steer clear of.
  • He’s basically a shadow in a dark corner of the gym pumping 200 lb of iron with one arm while smoking a cigarette with the other.
  • What’s with the bright green liquid in his blood-stained water bottle?
  • As “mythical” as he seems, he’s actually adorably polite to the employees. (They swear they’ve caught him wink at them.)

TIM:

  • The one wearing a Bluetooth headset and a watch monitoring all his vital signs.
  • Pre-installed surveillance cameras that feed information directly into his laptop, which he’s constantly checking out as he works out. 
  • The other board members of Wayne Enterprises have no idea that he’s actually on the treadmill while on an online conference with them. (Pretty fit, Timmy!)
  • *referring to the stuff in his water bottle* “Oh, this? It’s, um, pure liquid caffeine.”

DAMIAN:

  • “Whose kid is this?” a staff member announced, right before his finger broke “inexplicably”. (It never happened again.)
  • If people steer clear of Jason, they’d rather not come in at all when they know it’s this little guy’s day.
  • You know that thing when the person next to you’s so condescending that he can’t help but smirk loudly and mutter “weak” every time he sees you break a sweat, but you can’t really do anything about it because he’ll growl at you (and who knows what else)? Yeah.
  • Besides, it’s uncomfortable every time his cat (Pennyworth, is it?) sits on your face while you’re trying to bench-press.

The Robins as…

GYM RATS

DICK:

  • Often mistaken for the instructor. That’s understandable – He’ll help anyone who looks like they’re having a tough time.
  • He’s… distracting. For obvious reasons.
  • But, actually, it’s his positive energy that’ll make you keep coming back to finish the grueling regimen.
  • Will sometimes come in wearing a very loud outfit that screams “80s” because he knows that it amuses some people, then backs it up with a few Flying Grayson-esque stunts. 

JASON:

  • The one that other gym rats steer clear of.
  • He’s basically a shadow in a dark corner of the gym pumping 200 lb of iron with one arm while smoking a cigarette with the other.
  • What’s with the bright green liquid in his blood-stained water bottle?
  • As “mythical” as he seems, he’s actually adorably polite to the employees. (They swear they’ve caught him wink at them.)

TIM:

  • The one wearing a Bluetooth headset and a watch monitoring all his vital signs.
  • Pre-installed surveillance cameras that feed information directly into his laptop, which he’s constantly checking out as he works out. 
  • The other board members of Wayne Enterprises have no idea that he’s actually on the treadmill while on an online conference with them. (Pretty fit, Timmy!)
  • *referring to the stuff in his water bottle* “Oh, this? It’s, um, pure liquid caffeine.”

DAMIAN:

  • “Whose kid is this?” a staff member announced, right before his finger broke “inexplicably”. (It never happened again.)
  • If people steer clear of Jason, they’d rather not come in at all when they know it’s this little guy’s day.
  • You know that thing when the person next to you’s so condescending that he can’t help but smirk loudly and mutter “weak” every time he sees you break a sweat, but you can’t really do anything about it because he’ll growl at you (and who knows what else)? Yeah.
  • Besides, it’s uncomfortable every time his cat (Pennyworth, is it?) sits on your face while you’re trying to bench-press.

incorrect-batfamily-quotes:

The Robins as…

TUMBLR USERS REACTING TO 10,000 FOLLOWERS

Dick:

  • *sheepishly rubbing his neck while staring at his phone, a lopsided grin forming on his lips* “You’re kidding…”
  • Calls Babs and Wally to make sure that it’s not a prank (He’s that genuinely suprised and grateful.)
  • Cheerfully tells Bruce about it over a rare breakfast together (and knows that “Hn” means Bruce didn’t understand a single word he just said)

Jason:

  • “Isn’t that like… a container you put your drink in?” (Oh, that’s right. Tim made his account to use as online bait for criminals.)
  • *sees the mobile app for the first time*
  • *scrolls through the Batfamily tags*
  • *grunts in mild amusement over some posts*
  • *reads “10,000” and raises an eyebrow*
  • “This kinda stuff’s popular, huh?”
  • *stares blankly at the phone for a second* “Online bait. Sounds… Useful. *gets on his motorcycle and speeds away*

Tim:

  • *shakes his head, chuckles at how much Jason still has to learn about the modern world, hopes he doesn’t do anything rash and so turns on his Red Hood tracker, and logs into Tumblr on the Batcomputer*
  • *clicks “Block” on another porn blog* “Aaaaaand that’s got it. Yup. Still 10,000.” *gets up and heads to his bedroom*
  • *sits back down, refilled and smoking cup of coffee balancing on his lap (No, Timothy!)* “Or, maybe if I try a different algorithm –”

Damian:

  • *takes a screenshot and hits “Send” in 30 seconds tops* “We’ll see who’s ‘super’ now, Kent!
  • Posts pictures of his pets posing majestically with captions of quotes from ancient League manuscripts to (indirectly) express his gratitude
  • "Command Drake to stop hacking into my account, Father! I command it!” when he notices his follower count dwindling

Wow, um. Thank you. Your support has been inspiring me to make original content, too. Just… Thank you.

Sincerely,

a-wayne-at-heart/incorrect-batfamily-quotes

New tag alert: #the robins as

incorrect-batfamily-quotes:

Mornings at the Manor…

Alfred: *decorating pancakes with whipped butter and blueberries*

Dick: *eating cereal while doing a one-armed handstand*

Jason: *throwing bacon bits at Dick’s face*

Tim: *enters the kitchen*

Damian: What’s that smell? *sniffs the room*

Everyone else: *stops to sniff* 

Damian: Smells like sweat and anger and shame.

Tim: *with dark rings under his eyes*

Tim: *pours coffee onto the wrong end of his mug*

Tim: *sighs* Yep.