When Batman starts to notice that Robin’s been spending more and more time at Kent Farm…
Lois: You did steal his son. You’re his nemesis.
Clark: *sighs* I hate being his nemesis. Maybe I should take him out for coffee.
Tag: damian wayne
When you’re stranded in the middle of wherever and calling your family’s all you’ve got…
Red Robin: What.
Red Hood [on the Comm Link]: Timbo, hey, shut up. I need you to wire me a thousand dollars.
Red Robin: Wow.
Red Hood: Yeah.
Red Robin: No.
Red Hood: Yes!
Red Robin: No!
Red Hood: Oh, for – Then just lemme talk to Babs!
Oracle: Absolutely not. Huh? Because pick any one of an infinite number of reasons! Yeah, okay, hang on…
Spoiler: Mmmmyeah, no, I would, but Cass and I can’t really leave the mall at the moment… But I can transfer you…
Lark: No, I seriously thought you were joking. Yeah, hang on…
Robin: *sinister laughter*
Red Hood: Okay. Okay! Lemme talk to Dick!
Red Hood: Dick?! Dick, listen, I –
Nightwing: Noop.
Red Hood: – need you to –
Nightwing: Noop.
Red Hood: Stop saying “noop”!
Nightwing: Noop, Jason. Noop. And it’s gonna sound like I’m hanging up, but — *static*
Stranded in a swamp…
Red Robin: Why are you so scared of crocodiles?
Red Hood: Gee, I don’t know, Tim. Maybe deep down, I’m afraid of any apex predator that lived through the K-T extinction.
Red Robin: The…?
Red Hood: Physically unchanged for 100 million years, because it’s the perfect killing machine – a half-ton of cold-blooded fury, with a bite force of 20,000 Newtons, and stomach acid so strong it can dissolve bones and hooves. And now we’re surrounded, those snake-eyes are watching from the shadows, waiting for the night –
Nightwing: ♪ Waiting for the night! ♪
Robin: Damn it, Grayson!
Nightwing: ♪ Ooh-hoo! ♪
Red Hood: Keep your voice down!
Nightwing: Why?! Crocodiles don’t have ears!
Red Hood: They absolutely have ears, dickhead!
They can probably play this game for hours
So incorrect yet correct at the same time. I really enjoyed this one.
Sneaking into a criminal mastermind’s lair on a remote island be like…
Superboy: *shudders* Creepy.
Robin: I don’t know… Add more bats and a dinosaur and this is my father’s cave.
Robin [to Superboy]: Do you just walk around all day thinking about other people’s feelings? How do you get anything done?
Robin: It’s not a spaceship.
Beast Boy: Well, if it smells like a duck, walks like a duck, quacks like a duck…
Robin: But then it would be a duck, not a spaceship, so your point escapes me.
Beast Boy: *rubs face in frustration* It’s just a metaphor!
At the safe house…
Doorbell: *buzzes*
Jason: *sighs* It’s Morse code. It’s Damian.
Roy: How do you know?
Jason: Because the doorbell just said, “It’s me, morons”.
Mornings at the Manor…
Tim: *drinking his twelfth cup of coffee* If Jerry the Turkey didn’t belong in the oven, then why did he fit?
~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~
In which Dick and Jason race to save their little brother’s beloved pet (lest the War of the Century begin in the Wayne household).
Nightwing [on the Comm Link]: *on his motorcycle, tailing them* Did you two just push Tim out of the moving Batmobile and yell, “You’re out of the team”?!
Red Hood: Now, in hindsight, that does seem kind of rash.
Robin: *pulling into a Batburger drive-through* It was kind of a snap decision.
incorrect-batfamily-quotes 