Damian: I can’t believe Todd ruined another family barbecue!
Jason: *offended* Hey! Everybody pees in the pool!
Tim: Not from the diving board!
Tag: damian wayne
Alfred [about Damian’s piano recital]: Master Bruce, you have to be there! You’ve missed much too many precious moments in the children’s lives.
Bruce: What? Name twelve.
Meirl
Imagine: The Batkids cleaning the manor – before Alfred leaves and after he does.
Damian [on the Comm Link]: Todd, I broke my last saxophone reed, and I need you to get me a new one.
Red Hood: *reloading his guns while hiding behind barrels as bullets whizz past him* Uh, isn’t this the kind of thing Alfred’s better at?
Damian: I called him. He’s not home. I also tried Father, Grayson, Drake, Brown, Thomas, and the Commissioner, Barbara’s father.
Red Hood: *twisting a criminal’s arm and throwing another across the wall* Wow, and after them, out of all the people in the world, you chose me.
When Nightwing suggests that it might be a good “brotherly bonding” activity for you to investigate a case together…
Red Robin: *pointing to a partially hidden footprint* You should have seen this, Damian, but you were expending too much effort trying to undermine me.
Robin: I assure you that it takes no effort whatsoever.
Damian: *puts on noise-cancelling earphones after overhearing Bruce and Dick yelling at each other*
Damian: -Tt-
Damian: I hate it when father and father fight.
Also Damian: *looks around in a slight panic to check if anyone heard what he just said*
At the Batcave’s Minor Procedures Room…
Alfred: *filling a syringe with anesthesia*
Red Hood: *gripping Damian’s hand with both of his*
Red Hood: It’s okay, little buddy, I’m right here with you. Go ahead, Alf.
Robin: Ow! Ow! Ow!
Red Hood: Hey, please go easy on the kid!
Robin: No, you’re squishing my hand, Todd!
Red Hood: Oh. Sorry. But did you feel the shot?
Robin: *glances at the newly emptied syringe being held by Alfred*
Robin: No.
Red Hood: You’re welcome.
Alfred: Perhaps you’d prefer to wait in your room, Master Jason.
Red Hood: I’d prefer a morphine drip and a sponge bath, but the kid needs me!
Rolling (rapping + trolling)…
Jason: *beatboxing*
Damian: Ain’t no party like a Tim Drake party ‘cause a Tim Drake party don’t start. *drops mic*
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