When Batman grounds you from patrolling until you learn to get along with each other…
Red Robin: I really love you, little brother.
Robin: *throws the script at him* -Tt- We have got to get you to that acting clinic, Drake.
Red Robin: And that was with me picturing coffee.
Tag: damian wayne
Driving away from a monster attacking Gotham City be like…
Nightwing: *looking through the rear window of the Batmobile* Uh, guys –
Red Robin: *sitting next to Dick, desperately trying to gain remote control of the Batjet using his communicator*
Robin: *riding shotgun* -Tt- You were picked for a reason, Todd! You’re supposed to be our reckless driver!
Red Hood: *about to drive the Batmobile through a burning building* I’m driving as recklessly as I can!
Robin: Kent, have I ever put you in an unsafe situation?
Superboy: *sprinting across the craters on Apokolips with Damian on his back as they try to get away from a fire-breathing monster* All the time!
Robin: Then you should be used to it!
– • – • – • – • –
Guess who’s grounded?
Tim: *turns on his boombox and tunes it to an 80s pop music station*
Tim: *gets up on the table and starts dancing the “running man”*
Bruce:
Dick:
Babs:
Jason:
Steph:
Cass:
Damian: -Tt-
Duke:
Alfred:
Tim: I’m rocking so much adrenaline right now! My blood is basically Red Bull!
Alfred: *nods at Jason*
Jason: *tackles Tim in the middle of the “cabbage patch”*
Alfred: *waits for the table to be cleared of his grandsons, then lays out breakfast entrèes for everyone*
– • – • – • – • –
Good morning from the Manor!
Mornings at the Manor…
Bruce: *drinking coffee, watching as his children gather in a small circle in the kitchen*
Tim: So, hands in.
Jason, Steph, Duke: *put their hands one on top of the other over Tim’s*
Tim: Defeat that little brat Damian on three! 1, 2, 3!
Bruce: *spits out coffee*
~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~
You kids just couldn’t at least let your father finish his coffee in peace, could you?
Bruce, Dick, Tim and Alfred: *run into Jason’s bedroom after hearing a scuffle from downstairs*
Jason: *has Damian pinned to the wall*
Damian: *choking Jason*
Jason: *struggling to talk* Nothing to be alarmed about, people. It’s just a man pointing a bull tranquilizer at his little brother.
Damian: *gagged and strapped to the dinosaur’s leg in the Batcave*
Dick: Guys. Cut him down from there.
Jason: *looks to Tim for approval*
Tim: The kid’s a pain in the butt!
Dick: *sighs* Yeah, but he’s our pain in the butt. So, cut him down before Bruce gets back.
Dick and Jason: *watching wide-eyed as Damian argues with Bruce*
Tim: *deadpan* So, he’s added cussing and hurling things to his repertoire. He really is a child prodigy.
Jason: *walks into Damian’s bedroom*
Dick, Tim, and Damian: *playing cards on the floor*
Jason: *plops down beside Tim*
Damian: You can’t be in here, Todd. You already have three farting strikes against you.
When Batman grounds you for all the shenanigans you pulled with your super best friend…
Damian: You can’t keep Jon and me apart! I’ll… I’ll disobey!
Bruce: I’m also Jason Todd’s father. Do you think you’ve got any tricks I haven’t seen?
Bruce: *leaves room*
Damian: *climbs out of a third story window, slides down a tree, and lands in a wheelbarrow being pushed by Bruce*
Bruce: Hn. Jason Todd: Age 14.
Bruce: *drags Damian back into the Manor by the scruff of his Robin uniform*
Jason: *comes out of a hidden door in the tree*
Jason: Jason Todd: Age 19. Mwahahahaha!
incorrect-batfamily-quotes 