Sneaking into your little brother’s room while he’s away on a mission with Superboy be like…
Tim: *examining the different types of blades splayed on Damian’s bed*
Jason: *tiptoeing on the carpet and looking around the room* Maybe let’s not touch anything until we figure out if his stuff wants to kill us or not.
Tag: damian wayne
Family Patrol Night…
Robin: *takes his vibrating phone out of his pocket*
Robin: *frowns and puts it back* -Tt-
Red Robin:
Nightwing:
Robin: *takes his vibrating phone out of his pocket again*
Robin: Grrrr. *puts it on Silent Mode*
Nightwing: … ?
Red Robin: *gestures to Red Hood* He just learned how to “poke” on Facebook.
When you’re bored out of your mind from having been watching a criminal mastermind sleep in his apartment for the last 8 hours.
When you find out that one of the most dangerous criminal masterminds in the world has set up headquarters in Gotham City…
Red Robin: What should we do?
Nightwing: Stay away.
Red Hood:
Red Robin:
Robin:
Nightwing: … Or, if we’re stupid, we go there and set up surveillance.
Nightwing, Red Hood, Red Robin and Robin: *immediately jump out of their seats and start grabbing their gear*
Me: *yells as they race out of the Batcave in their respective vehicles* Take care, boys! I’ll try to calm your father down when he gets back from the Watchtower!
Red Robin: *crawling on the floor* Uuurrgghhhhrr…
Red Robin: *grabs hold of a metal bar* Hhhrrrnnnnhhh…
Red Robin: *struggles to hoist himself onto a chair* …aaAHhhhhhraaahh –
Robin: Pathetic.
Robin: *shuts down the Batcomputer*
Red Robin: NOOOOOOOO! *breaks down in tears*
Red Hood: *fireman-carries a sobbing Tim* It’s really for your own good, Timbo –
Nightwing: *walks into the Batcave* Everything alright?
Robin: Drake refuses to sleep!
The Signal: Something about wanting, no, needing to post… whatever, man, who knows… because something, something happiness…?
Nightwing:
Nightwing: *turns on the Batcomputer*
Nightwing: Who’s @dangerous-doodle ?
~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~
Someone who made me real happy back, Dick.
Thank you so much, @dangerous-doodle . 😎
~ a-wayne-at-heart/incorrect-batfamily-quotes
Jon: *observing Bruce, who’s talking to Dick* Is that your dad?
Damian: Both of them, yes.
An Incorrect Interview with the Batfamily…
Batman: I have it on good authority that you’ve been posting these, quote-unquote, incorrect quotes about our family on this so-called… *narrows his eyes* Tumblr.
Me: *blinks*
Me: *shuddering slightly* Well, see, Mr. Batman, um,Sir Wayne, uh, Batwayne –
Nightwing: *gets up from his chair and hugs me tightly*
Me: Oh! Oh, okay. Wow. Thanks? So, um, do you have a question or… ?
Nightwing: *shakes his head and grins at me* I just wanted to lighten the mood. You know how our father tends to blur the line between an interview and an interrog–
Red Hood: *clears his throat loudly*
Red Hood: Why, um… Why the heck do you call me *reading something scribbled on his palm* “Big Brother of the Year”?
Me: Well, see, Jay, even though you see yourself as the “black sheep” of the family, I do believe that there’s some goodness in your heart and that you do care very much about them. I think Croc said it best: you’re a good kid trying to be bad, and – Are you okay?
Red Hood’s Helmet: – bZzt bzZt –
Me: Your helmet’s… There’s smoke coming out of your –
Red Hood: *gets up from his seat and speed-walks out of the room*
Me: Did I say something wrong?
Red Robin: No. His tears must’ve fried the circuits in his helmet. Anyway, is this where you live? *shows me a map on his tablet with coordinates to my residence*
Me: *wide-eyed* How’d you – ?
Red Robin: Don’t worry about it. Now, my real question is, is there a lot of coffee where you’re from?
Me: Well –
Red Robin: Like really strong cofee? *zooming in and out of the map* For some reason, I can’t get intel –
Robin: *shoves Tim out of the way*
Robin: Pretender! Where do you get the nerve –
Me: – to make you look adorable? Look, Dami, I can’t help it –
Black Bat: *grapple-hooks into the room and grabs me*
Spoiler: Alright, creeps, that’s enough blogger harrassment for today!
Batgirl: *whispering into my ear* I’m so sorry you had to go through this.
Alfred: *walks into the room*
Room: *falls silent*
Alfred: No dessert for all of you.
Everyone (including Bruce): *whines*
Alfred: As for you *looks at me*…
Me: *blinks*
Alfred: … we would appreciate it if you joined us for dinner. *walks out of the room with Batcow and Titus in tow*
The Signal: *turns off the camera and runs after Alfred* But I was just filming everything, I swear!
Catwoman: *comes in through the kitchen window* Meow. Did I miss the interview?
~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~
I guess this is just my way of saying THANK YOU for your continued patronage.
Sincerely *with lots of cute, little hearts*,
a-wayne-at-heart/incorrect-batfamily-quotes
Red Hood: Alfred says I might have a concussion. I wasn’t able to pick up the little brat from school this morning. Oh, and get this, I have a concussion!
When you’re post-patrol but you still gotta be an older brother.
Why Batman disdains out-of-town supervillain lairs (or taking his sons with him all at once)…
Nightwing: Turkey farm?
Red Hood: No.
Red Robin: Skunks?
Red Hood: No.
Robin: Slaughterhouse?
Red Hood: No.
Catwoman: What are you boys doing back there?
Red Robin: We’re playing “What’s That Odor?”.
Robin: Father’s feet?
Batman: Hn. Damian.
Red Hood: You win, Dami.
Batman: Jason.
Nightwing: Are we there yet, Bruce?
Batman: I’ll tell you when we get there. Go back to your smell game.
Robin: Todd, I’m going to jump off this skyscraper.
Red Hood: You know, kid, as the only adult here, I feel like I should say something.
Robin: What?
Red Hood: Cool!
When you tell your little brother about the time you messed up during your tenure as the Teen Titans’ leader…
Tim: People think that I’m smart, but I’m not smart.
Damian: Who thinks that you’re smart?
incorrect-batfamily-quotes 