When you’re trying to turn over a new leaf but your brothers miss the “chaotic-but-fun” you…
Jason: What is that?
Tim: *wiggles his eyebrows* Looks like a fuse.
Jason: All right, what exactly are you planning?
Dick: We’re planning to get you back. We want our brother back, the way he used to be.
Damian: Todd, we are well aware of how much you used to like fire, explosions…
Damian: *hands Jason a lighter*
Jason: *stares at it*
Jason: Nice try. That was a long time ago.
Tim: Really?
Jason:
Jason: *looks at the fuse again*
Jason: So, where does this go?
Dick: Well, I suppose you could find out by crawling over the fence and following the fuse. Or you could find out… *grinning* the Jason way.
Tim: We’re sure that you’ll make the right decision.
Jason: Guys, I’m telling you. Things are different now! I’m an adult, I have responsibilities. I’m just not a sixteen-year-old maniac anymore who –
Jason: *hears a click, then sees that his hand has already flicked the lighter on and is holding it to the fuse*
Jason: Huh. Interesting.
Tag: damian wayne
Tim: I’m sick of you always having an edge just because you’re cruel and I’m smart and I’m concerned about consequences. I can be just as vicious and shortsighted as you!
Damian: Oh, yeah? *sarcastically* I’m really scared. Why don’t you just –
Damian: *realizes that his hand is stuck to his forehead *
Damian: *gritting his teeth* Drake, what did you do?
Tim: *holds up a tube of Super Glue* I sank to your level. And I have to say, it feels good.
When your little brother’s just a little too attached to his pets…
Damian: *enters the Batcave carrying Alfred the Cat and pulling Batcow by a leash*
Damian: Can you take a cat and a cow to the theater?
Jason: Uhhh, no?
Tim: Of course not.
Damian: Okay. I just wanted them to hear it from somebody else.
Dick: You know what life is really about?
Damian: I’m twelve –
Dick: Brotherhood. You and me. Right here, Little D. Yeah. Us. That’s what it’s about.
Tim: *ugly-crying* How can something so small cause so much pain?!
Jason: *turns his head towards whatever Tim’s looking at*
Jason: *sees a sneering Damian*
Jason: *nods his head thoughtfully*
Tim [about Damian]: … And when I dropped him off at the Kent Farm, he even gave me a hug!
Jason: Did he think you were choking, or… ?
HA. Yes, @cerddom, yes.
When you’re trying to convince your best friend that a billionaire’s son is just as capable of doing farm work…
Damian [to Jon]: I’m blue collar! I’m absolutely blue collar. My father owns a shovel.
What he actually means is that his father owns a company that supplies shovels.
At the Kent Farm…
Bruce: *in a double-breasted suit*
Dick: *adjusts his bow tie*
Jason: *fumbles with his cufflinks*
Tim: *licks hand and flattens Damian’s hair*
Damian: *slaps Tim’s hand away*
Pa Kent and Ma Kent: …
Clark: So, uh, you guys dress up for Thanksgiving?
Bruce: Doesn’t everybody?
When you’re bored out of your mind at Kent Farm because your fathers are busy hanging out and won’t let you go on patrol without adult supervision…
Bruce and Clark: *chatting and drinking coffee*
Jon: *lies down on the grass* What are you doing?
Damian: *yawns* I’m just trying to throw batarangs at my father’s head, but the wind keeps taking it.
Sleepovers at the Kent Farm be like…
Damian [to Jon]: I’m prone to night terrors, so if I wake up kicking and screaming, don’t panic. Just pin me down and stroke my hair, and I’ll be fine.
~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~
And need he mention that if you tell any of this to his older brothers, he’ll plant kryptonite around your property and not tell you where to find them?
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