That one time Robin, as their self-appointed leader, made a motion to change the Teen Titans’ team name…
Robin: Teams are traditionally named after fierce creatures, thus intimidating one’s opponent.
Beast Boy: Then we could be the Bengal Tigers!
Robin: Poor choice. Gram for gram, no animal exceeds the relative fighting strength of the Army ant.
Beast Boy: Maybe so, but you can’t incinerate a Bengal tiger with a magnifying glass.
Guess who lost the Robins’ Rock, Paper, Scissors battle to not take care of the flu-ridden Batbrat?
Red Hood: *stops his motorcycle in front of The Cheesecake Factory*
Red Hood: *sighs*
Red Hood [on the Comm Link]: Why didn’t you just have soup at home?
Damian: Todd, I have an IQ of 187. Pennyworth is on vacation. Don’t you imagine that if there were a way for me to have soup at home I would have thought of it?
Red Hood: You can have soup delivered.
Damian: *blows his nose*
Damian: I did not think of that.
Now, guess who lost the second round?
Tim: *tucks Damian in bed* Alright, get some rest and drink plenty of fluids.
Damian: What else would I drink, Drake? Solids? Gases? Ionized plasma?
Tim: *drops a sleeping pill into Damian’s glass of milk*
Tim: *smiling with gritted teeth* Drink whatever you want.
Guess who lost the Robins’ Rock, Paper, Scissors battle to not take care of the flu-ridden Batbrat?
Red Hood: *stops his motorcycle in front of The Cheesecake Factory*
Red Hood: *sighs*
Red Hood [on the Comm Link]: Why didn’t you just have soup at home?
Damian: Todd, I have an IQ of 187. Pennyworth is on vacation. Don’t you imagine that if there were a way for me to have soup at home I would have thought of it?
Red Hood: You can have soup delivered.
Damian: *blows his nose*
Damian: I did not think of that.
Dick: Damian, you need to widen your circle of friends.
Damian: I have a very wide circle. I have 212 friends on Facebook.
Dick: Yes, and you’ve never met one of them.
Damian: That’s the beauty of it.
Teaching your little brother (who was raised by assassins in a mountain far away) about sports be like…
Dick: *setting up the rims and nets*
Jason: *dribbling the balls*
Tim: *configuring the shot clock*
Damian: *putting on his cleats* I’ve never played basketball. I’m certain I’ll pick it up. Who’s going to be goalie?
When you’re trying to give your youngest son the “birds and bees” talk but your other sons want to stick around to see how it goes…
Bruce [to Damian]: *opens mouth to talk*
Bruce: *hears a camera shutter sound*
Bruce: Hn.
Bruce: *opens mouth to talk again*
Bruce: *notices the reflection of three heads peeking from a crevice in the cave on the Batcomputer screen*
Bruce [to Damian]: Oh, good, everyone’s in here. I was worried we’d have a private conversation for once.
A voice from the crevice: You’re welcome, Bruce!
When your fathers are currently not on good terms and you’re not allowed to hang out for a while…
Dick [to Damian and Jon]: Are you planning to “Parent Trap” them? Are you the Lindsay Lohans?
When your youngest brother threatens you (and your other brothers) but you really just want to live in peace…
Jason [to Damian]: Look, kid, I don’t have a problem with you. I just don’t want to hang out with you if I don’t have to.
If you thought Red Hood’s safe house was impeccable, wait till you have dinner at Robin’s…
Jason [to Damian]: Are you kidding me? Assigned seats? What is this, the Oscars?
Mornings at the Manor…
Jason: *scouring the refrigerator*
Dick: *balancing a spoon on the tip of his nose while tiptoeing atop a kitchen stool*
Alfred: *picking up all of Dick’s fallen cutlery*
Tim: *fast asleep and drooling on his pancakes*
Damian: *tossing a “hay salad” for Batcow*
Jason: Ish iz anybody’sh shandwich? Because I’ve eaten half of it and I don’t like it.
You clearly don’t, Jay, based on that turkey scrap dangling from your mouth.
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