Tag: damian wayne

incorrect-batfamily-quotes:

When you’ve gotta go rescue your eldest brother…

Red Hood: Well, I guess that settles that! I mean, it’s not like we can just waltz into enemy territory and… Well, I certainly can’t.

Robin: Can’t? Or won’t?

Red Hood: Both, either, all! They’d shoot me on sight, Little D.

Red Hood: And if you want Big D so damn bad, you can go get him your–

* sound of Batmobile tires screeching *

Red Hood: Huh. I didn’t think he’d actually do it.

—

Really, Jay? You thought Dami was beyond doing something like that?

When your little brother’s leaving for boarding school and you won’t be seeing him for a while…

Jason: Little D…

Damian: Yes?

Jason: I’m gonna miss you, kid.

Damian: Of course you are.

Jason: *slams limousine door shut*

Jason: *dusts off hands* Well, he just made that easier.

Tim: *sobbing on the couch*

Damian: *pushes Tim, forcing him to scoot over, and grabs the remote*

Tim: I’m sorry, is the fact that my life’s falling apart interfering with your TV show?

Damian: *tunes in to Animal Planet*

Damian: *munching on popcorn* It is.

Damian: How do I know that you’re not manipulating me right now?

Jason: I think if I were manipulating you, you’d be smart enough to see it.

Damian: How do I know you’re not saying that as part of the manipulation?

And on and on (and on and on) their conversation went, until Jason was convinced that it’d be last time he’d ever try anything like this on the blood son of the World’s Greatest Detective.

When you start noticing that your little brother’s been asking for way too many “favors” lately…

Tim: Well, I’m not just some trained monkey dancing for coins!

Damian: Of course not. People love trained monkeys, Drake.

When your youngest brother’s still in the middle of ranting and/or threatening your lives but you just can’t help yourself…

Jason: *snickers*

Dick: *glares*

Tim: *glares*

Damian: *GLARES*

Jason: What? He’s so tiny. It’s funny when he’s mad.

When it’s your turn to make breakfast at the Manor…

Jason: *assembling veggie tacos*

Jason [to Tim]: For once, it’d be nice to not hear Damian complain about my cooking all day.

Damian: Excuse me, Todd, but every Wednesday you prepare a terrible breakfast and every Wednesday I criticize it. Do family traditions mean nothing to you?