When asked how the eighteen-hour flight with his brother went…
Damian: It was fine, other than the weird-tasting juice Drake gave me. I slept the whole way.
Tag: damian wayne
When your teenaged brother starts dating…
Damian: I broke up with her.
Dick: Wha- Why?
Damian: She said she didn’t want to see me anymore, and I found that insulting.
When asked about the hardships of being a vigilante superhero…
Jason: We live with Damian, so the word “inconvenience” has really lost all meaning.
Family Patrol Night…
Red Hood and Red Robin: *replaying (for the nth time) a clip of Robin accidentally tripping on his shoelaces, falling off a ledge, and hanging upside-down from a skyscraper*
Red Robin: You can’t put that on Snapchat.
Red Hood: Fine, I’ll put it on Facebook like a caveman.
Tim [about Damian]: … And when I dropped him off at the Kent Farm, he even gave me a hug!
Jason: Did he think you were choking, or… ?
Dick and Jason: *watching Damian yell angrily at Bruce*
Dick: You know what we should do?
Jason: Go out and get vasectomies so that this doesn’t happen to us?
Teaching your little brother how apologies work…
Jason [to Damian]: Good. Now, try it as if this weren’t your first day as a person.
Tim: I can’t believe you got Jon a birthday gift.
Damian: I don’t know why you’re so surprised, Drake. I watch movies. I see what people do.
When you overstay your welcome at Red Hood’s safe house…
Jason: *hopping over mounds of bloody patrol suits and broken weapons while picking up dirty dishes*
Tim and Damian: *playing Injustice 2 on Xbox while yelling threats at each other*
Dick: *pouring milk on his cereal and spilling some on the carpet*
Jason: I don’t know when I became a dad to three lazy teenagers, but it stops today. You guys are cleaning this place up, top to bottom!
Dick: Hey, we don’t even live here!
Jason: Yes or no, do you have clothes in my laundry right now?
Taking your little brother to a pet shop be like…
Damian: *staring at a puppy in a cage* You think he bites?
Jason: Stick your hand in there and find out.
Damian: You fooled me with that goat at the petting zoo. You will not fool me again.
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