Recounting his recent encounter with Superman…
Red Hood: So, I pulled a gun on him.
Batman: *glares*
The rest of the Batfamily: *jaw drop*
Red Hood: What? You guys know I do that from time to time.
Tag: clark kent
At a bar…
Bartender: Where’d you get that jacket?
Jason: *sips beer* I was buried in it.
Bartender:
Bartender: *awkwardly moves away*
Idk some Gothamites are wack, they’d probably be into it
Clark Kent, mild-mannered reporter of the Daily Planet, following up on a lead at said bar: Jason? What’re you doing all the way here? Does your fath- Bruce know you’re here?
Clark: You really don’t need to cut my meat for me.
Bruce: You could’ve reminded me of that when I started.
Bruce: Can I get you anything? Juice box? ‘Nanners?
Clark: …’Nanners?
Bruce: Sorry, dad brain. Ba-nanners.
Meirl
Imagine: Superman (“cop”) interrogating a suspect, feat. Batman’s disappointed glare.
bruce wayne: Okay… I lied a few times. And I know I’ve made some mistakes in the past.
diana prince: Thousands.
bruce wayne: And some times, I’ve led you into danger.
clark kent: Always.
bruce wayne: But, at least I had the best intentions in mind.
oliver queen: Yours.
bruce wayne: And things have always turned out okay.
the entire justice league: NEVER!
Batman: *studying Kryptonian morphology* Hn. It’s no wonder none of the tests worked. You’re not shapeshifters. You’re aliens.
Superman: You know, I find that term racist.
Bruce [about Clark]: He makes me feel so small!
Alfred: Well, who cares what he thinks? You’re Batman! You’re a grown man!
Alfred: Now take your nap. And if I see the lights on in here, I’m going to be very disappointed in you.
Clark: My name is Clark Kent and I’m here to see Mr. Luthor.
Receptionist at Lex Corp: And what is this in regards to?
Clark: He wants to kill me.
Because it’s canon that Batman keeps journals (and that he’s deeply in love)…
Clark: The part where you and Selina met. It’s right out of a twisted, vigilante rom-com.
Bruce: Yes. I believe they call it a “meet cute”.
Batman: What did I say about barging into my cave?
Superman: That it was impulsive and intrusive?
Batman: Yes, precisely. Only the exact phrase I used was, “Don’t”.
incorrect-batfamily-quotes 