Clark [to Bruce]: You’re doing that thing when you say what I want you to say, but your tone seems mean.
Tag: clark kent
Superman: Bruce, just relax.
Batman: Why?
Superman: I don’t know. No one’s ever asked me that before.
~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~
Because of the few things Batman seems incapable of, relaxing is among the top five.
When asked by the rest of the Justice League why they frequently go on missions without them…
Batman: Clark and I work because we keep an emotional distance.
Meanwhile, Superman: *looking at him with sad, puppy dog eyes*
Missions with Batman (or, more appropriately, Batman’s secret solo missions that the rest of the League somehow get wind of) be like…
Superman: I called for backup. You gotta trust somebody, Bruce.
Batman: *internally pouting like a baby, but relieved much deeper inside*
Evenings in the Batcave…
Batman: *typing on the Batcomputer*
Red Robin: *tuning up the Redbird*
Batman: Fart.
Red Robin:
Red Robin: Uh…
Red Robin: Did you say “fart”?
Batman: Yes. That’s me being rather silly.
~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~
And, to this day, no one believes Tim.
Superman: *fighting Parademons on Apokolips*
Superman:
Superman: *chuckles* Fart.
~ • ~ • ~ •
I mean if Clark can canonically single out Bruce’s heartbeat while flying over earth, I think he can hear him say “Fart”.
After interrogating a criminal mastermind together…
Superman: *wriggling his eyebrows* How was my “bad cop”?
Batman: You were unbelievable.
~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~
Literally, Clark. Bruce couldn’t believe you as a “bad cop”. Nor could he believe that he agreed to let you play one.
Looking for the last surviving box of Twinkies in the Watchtower be like…
Green Lantern: Batman! You’ve got to break Bats. Superman tells him everything.
The Flash: Those tiny ears hold so many secrets.
Superman: Being a superhero is a hard job to do.
Batman: And an even harder job to let go.
At the Justice League beach trip…
Bruce: *setting up miniature surveillance equipment and burying them in the sand*
Clark: *rolls eyes* Tell me you know how to swim.
Bruce: I know how to swim, Clark. I swim for survival, not for fun.
Superman: Actually, I saw “Goodfellas” with Bruce!
Green Lantern: Really? Bruce sees movies made after 1957?
Batman: What’s your point, Jordan?
Green Lantern: *startled* Whoa! That was an impressively quiet entrance.
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