Because it’s canon that Batman keeps journals (and that he’s deeply in love)…

Clark: The part where you and Selina met. It’s right out of a twisted, vigilante rom-com.

Bruce: Yes. I believe they call it a “meet cute”. 

When you just want to give your best friend’s troubled, adoptive son some advice…

Superman: I wanted to have a private word with you, Jason… Pardon the intrusion.

Red Hood: On this moment? Or my life in general?

Rescuing your best friend from the Phantom Zone be like…

Superman: *hugs Batman* You came for me, Bruce!

Batman: Hrrn. 

Superman: … Or, should I say “Robot”?

Batman: Why? Because I’m not crying?

Superman: Bruce, maybe you don’t have enough RAM to understand this, but there is such thing as brotherly love.


A little nod to Clark calling Bruce his brother in canon recently. *winks*

Batman: Alfred, I’m going to need a pair of pants brought to the landing site.

Alfred [on the Comm Link]: I shall have pants waiting for you, Master Bruce.

Green Lantern: He’s kidding, right?

Superman: No, he’s not.


Because, contrary to popular belief, Batman does not work alone. (Who am I kidding? Everybody knows that.)

Plus, he’s got a charity gala to attend after beating up a bunch of aliens, so…

When super families hang out…

Clark: *holding a bullet* 

Jon: *glaring with glowing red eyes*

Jason: *clears throat*

Jason: We don’t mean your family any harm.

Tim: Well, you did just shoot at his dad.

Jason: Aside from shooting your dad, we don’t mean your family any harm.  

Bruce: *groans*


To be fair, Jason just wanted to see if the rumors were true. 


Damian’s not gonna be too happy when he finds out about this, though. Especially when Jon says that he’s no longer in the mood to go on patrol with him.

At the Justice League Awards…

Superman: … And the “Young Justice Mentor of the Year” is… *opens envelope*

Wonder Woman: Batman!

Crowd: *mixture of boos and cheers*

Batman: *goes to the podium*

Batman: Hn. This is not my fault. I tried to be a jerk.

Visiting Wayne Manor and encountering one of Batman’s sons be like…

Clark: Good morning, Jason. Have you seen Bruce?

Jason: Maybe.

Clark: Sooo… Is he around?

Jason: *shrugs* Could be.

Clark: Could you… find him for me?

Jason: Yeah, sure, I could. But wouldn’t it be more fulfilling for you if you did it yourself?


I guess you could just save yourself the frustration and use your X-ray vision, Clark… if the walls weren’t lined with lead.