When you’re secretly feeling insecure because your kids seem to prefer being with their Kryptonian uncle over you…

Batman: *all up in Superman’s space* Because I’m a cool dad, Clark.

Batman: That’s my thang. I’m hip, I surf the web, I text. LOL: laugh out loud. OMG: oh my Grodd. WTF: why the face.

Dick: *putting on his Robin uniform*

Bruce: *glaring*

Dick: Uh, I have patrol with Superman tonight.

Dick: *adjusting his domino mask* You promised I could go if I got a B on my test. I studied, I read stuff. What was the point of all that?


Now, Jason as Robin? Quite a different story.

At the Watchtower…

Justice League: *watching surveillance, Youtube and news footage on the mainframe computer*

Batman: *walks into the room and sees Nightwing, Red Hood, Red Robin, Robin and Lark (and a bunch of burning buildings and screaming citizens) on the screen*

Superman: *arms crossed*

Wonder Woman: *hands on hips, shaking her head*

Aquaman: *raises an eyebrow*

The Flash: *wide-eyed*

Green Lantern: *biting his lip to suppress a smirk*

Cyborg: Wo-ho-hoooooo.

Batman: Hn.

Batman: Whatever they did, add it to my tab.

Batman: *walks out*

joons:

“I just don’t understand why Clark wouldn’t just say, ‘Save my mother’ instead of ‘Save Martha.’ The whole thing is just silly.”

Luthor: Martha, Martha, Martha. Well, the mother of a flying demon must be a witch. And the punishment for witches – what is that? That’s right. Death by fire.

Luthor: If you kill me, Martha dies. And if you fly away, Martha also dies. But if you kill the Bat, Martha lives.

Bruce: [with disgust] I bet your parents taught you that you mean something, that you’re here for a reason. My parents taught me a different lesson. Dying in the gutter. For no reason at all.

Clark: Save Martha.

Bruce: Why did you say that name?

Lois: It’s his mother’s name.

These six lines demonstrate the layers needed to get Bruce to his realization. He knows Superman has parents. He is not interested. Luthor knows Superman has a mother and uses her against him, dehumanizing her completely as he does so. Clark begs for Martha to be saved for who she is, not for her relationship to him, since Luthor and Bruce have both made it quite clear that the mother of a flying demon doesn’t matter. Bruce realizes Martha is his mother. Lois – a human, a woman throwing herself in front of a gun/spear to save someone she loves – says “It’s his mother’s name” like it’s the most important thing in the world. And it is. And Bruce is wrong. And he crumples.

You cannot watch BVS and think you can just forget all the dialogue that’s come before and then turn around and claim it doesn’t make sense. It is all right there, you lazybones.

YES.

Batman/Superman: Teenage AU…

Superteen: Before I save the world, you have to spend the week doing everything I say.

Bat-teen: So, what, I have to be your slave or something?

Superteen: No. You have to be my friend, Bruce.

Bat-teen: Ugh. That’s so much worse.

When your best friend asks you if you’d want to get away from crimefighting in the city for a while and just hang out at his farm…

Superman: So… ?

Batman: *stares off into the distance*

Superman: Um, Bruce… ?

Batman: *breathes in the air like he’s smelling fresh flowers*

Batman: Spending the day far away sounds like a dream, Clark. I love being a father, but there are a few things I miss. Silence. The absence of noise. One single moment undisturbed by my children trying to kill each other.