Texting about an upcoming Justice League meeting…
Bruce: No sig oths.
Clark: Just say “significant others”.
Bruce: Maybe you have that kind of time, but I’m on a tight sched.
Tag: clark kent
Bruce: I just never think of money as an issue.
Clark: That’s ‘cause you have it.
Bruce: That’s a good point.
Superman: Actually, I saw “Goodfellas” with Bruce!
Green Lantern: Really? Bruce sees movies made after 1957?
Batman: What’s your point, Jordan?
Green Lantern: *startled* Whoa! That was an impressively quiet entrance.
At the Justice League beach trip…
Bruce: *setting up miniature surveillance equipment and burying them in the sand*
Clark: *rolls eyes* Tell me you know how to swim.
Bruce: I know how to swim, Clark. I swim for survival, not for fun.
Clark: What was that look?
Bruce: What look?
Clark: The look you just gave me.
Bruce: I gave a look?
Clark: Yes.
Bruce: What kind of look?
Clark: I know that look.
Bruce: Then what was it?
Clark: Why should I tell you?
Bruce: You’re the big “look” expert. I want to see how smart you are.
Clark: Trust me, I know the look.
He knows it. Your children know it. Everyone who’s ever felt judged by you knows it, Batman. (Including the rogues.)
Family Patrol Night…
Batman: I will go in and do this quietly.
Red Hood: Well, if that doesn’t work, we will come in to make some noise. *cocks guns*
Nightwing: *lights up escrima sticks*
Red Robin: *twirls bo staff*
Robin: *brandishes sword*
Bonus:
Superman: *hovers and winks*
Bruce, what made you even think that they’d stay behind?
When you and your best friend get into a heated argument about fatherhood…
Bruce: *referring to the situation with Kon-El* Unlike you, I can’t just walk away from my children.
Clark: At least my children can look me in the eye and know that I never lie to them.
Superman: Being a superhero is a hard job to do.
Batman: And an even harder job to let go.
Batman: *walks into the Watchtower’s Hall of Justice*
Batman: *narrows his eyes* Hn.
Batman: *slowly turns on the light*
Everyone: SURPRISE, BRUCE!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! *confetti explosions, colorful bat-shaped balloons, tooting horns*
Batman: *wide-eyed, open-mouthed, and motionless*
Wonder Woman: *checks him for a pulse*
Superman: *whispers in his ear* I know it’s your specialty, but let’s try not to overthink this one, okay?
Aww, you guys! Don’t scare him like that.
When asked if she’d rather date Bruce or Clark…
Diana: Give me a stupid genius over a smart idiot any day.
Sooo… huh?
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