Superman: *knocking on the Batcave wall* Excuse me, Bruce, do you have a second?
Batman: Clark, what did I tell you about my open-door policy? I don’t have one.
Tag: clark kent
At the Watchtower…
Justice League: *watching surveillance, Youtube, and news footage on the mainframe computer*
Batman: *walks into the room and sees Nightwing, Red Hood, Red Robin, Robin, and Lark (and a bunch of burning buildings and screaming citizens) on the screen*
Superman: *arms crossed*
Wonder Woman: *hands on hips, shaking her head*
Aquaman: *raises an eyebrow*
The Flash: *wide-eyed*
Green Lantern: *biting his lip to suppress a smirk*
Cyborg: Wo-ho-hoooooo.
Batman: Hn.
Batman: Whatever they did, add it to my tab.
Batman: *walks out*
When your tough-as-nails, alpha-male best friend gets antsy…
Clark: *plugging both his ears with his fingers* Bruce, Bruce, Bruce, Bruce. I can’t talk right now. I’m at your wedding!
~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~
His super hearing can’t save you know, Bruce. He really wants you to go through with this. Now, stop muttering and finish getting dressed.
When your best friend asks you if you’d want to get away from crimefighting in the city for a while and just hang out at his farm…
Superman: So… ?
Batman: *stares off into the distance*
Superman: Um, Bruce… ?
Batman: *breathes in the air like he’s smelling fresh flowers*
Batman: Spending the day far away sounds like a dream, Clark. I love being a father, but there are a few things I miss. Silence. The absence of noise. One single moment undisturbed by my children trying to kill each other.
When Clark met his future BFF, Bruce…
Superman: *watching as Batman grapple-hooks away*
Superman: You’re gonna like me, Bruce Wayne. I’m just gonna let you pretend for a little while that you don’t already do.
Superman: You have eight kids?
Batman: … That I know of.
~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~ · ~
The World’s Greatest Detective, everybody.
Batman and Superman: *watching Red Robin and Robin arguing with each other on a rooftop*
Superman: They fight like brothers.
Batman: That’s because they are.
Superman: Think of hanging out with Hal as an opportunity to step outside your comfort zone. Try something new.
Batman: Hn. If I wanted that I’d go do Zumba.
Nightwing: Bruce is more than a teacher to me.
Superman: Like a big brother?
Nightwing: More like a dad.
Visiting Kent Farm be like…
Bruce: *watches as Lois serves Clark coffee and massages his shoulders without him having to ask her*
Bruce: *mutters to himself* That was so cool.
Selina: “Cool”?
Bruce: *clears his throat* By “cool” I mean wrong and stupid.
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