World’s Finest Dads…
Batman [about grounding Robin after a mission gone awry]: I promised I’d never let anything happen to him.
Superman: Hmm. That’s a funny thing to promise.
Batman: What?
Superman: Well, you can’t never let anything happen to him. Then nothing would ever happen to him. Not much fun for little Robin.
Tag: clark kent
When Bruce and Clark met Diana…
Batman: *staring intently at Wonder Woman from across the room* Come stand next to me.
Superman: Why?
Batman: So she doesn’t think I’m creepy.
Superman: Well, you are creepy.
Batman: I realize this. That’s why I need you.
Inviting your best friend to your hometown be like…
Clark: *driving to Smallville* Bruce, I know you have some very definite expectations for this weekend.
Bruce: *on the passenger’s seat* Why do you think that?
Clark: Because you sent me an e-mail three days ago that said, “Clark, I have some very definite expectations for this weekend”.
When you’re painfully aware that your best friend is only human…
Superman: *hovering* Why you?
Batman: *perched on a gargoyle, looking through a telescopic sight* Why me what?
Superman: Why do you have to hunt all these dangerous criminals in Gotham? Why not let someone else do it?
Batman: I can’t find anybody else that crazy.
Batman: *studying Kryptonian morphology* Hn. It’s no wonder none of the tests worked. You’re not shapeshifters. You’re aliens.
Superman: You know, I find that term racist.
When Clark met Bruce…
Superman: You look familiar. Have we met?
Batman: We’re not even meeting now.
Batman: *smoke bomb*
That awkward moment when you bring your best friend to meet other superheroes and they’re not exactly digging his vibe…
Batman: *walking away mid-conversation*
Superman: *sheepishly scratching the back of his neck as the others stare at him with raised eyebrows*
Superman: Uh… He’s uncouth but effective?
Green Lantern: *coming to Batman’s defense* Did you hear the gravel in that voice? He’s our guy!
That awkward moment when you bring your best friend to meet other superheroes and they’re not exactly digging his vibe…
Batman: *walking away mid-conversation*
Superman: *sheepishly scratching the back of his neck as the others stare at him with raised eyebrows*
Superman: Uh… He’s uncouth but effective?
Superman: *wrestling with Metallo* AarRgghhh!
Wonder Woman: *fending off Cheetah* AaahhhHhh!
Superman: Dia.. na… Right now we need an advantage –
Wonder Woman: *about to call Green Lantern, who just defeated a Yellow Lantern, from a few feet away*
Superman: – and that advantage is Bruce.
Bonus:
Batman: *landing the Batjet next to them 0.0000001 s after hearing that* Hn.
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