Batman: *lying on a gurney in the Batcave*
Superman: Is he well enough for me to start mothering him unbearably, Alfred?
Alfred: Hmm. Better let him rest up a while first.
Tag: clark kent
Clark: Bruce loves me.
Clark: He’s implied it MANY times.
Accurate summary of their dynamic.
Taking a trip down memory lane be like…
Barry: Hal didn’t trust Bruce.
Clark: And Bruce didn’t trust Hal.
J’onn: That’s why they had lunch together every single week…?
Diana: To express their mutual distrust.
Barry and Clark: Exactly.
Arthur: *shrugs* Meh.
Superman: Red Hood. Thank you for your help. You are a valuable asset to Batman’s team.
Red Hood: Well, it would be great if you would call him and remind him of that from time to time.
Batman: *working on a case by himself in the Hall of Justice*
Superman and Wonder Woman: *watching him*
Superman: *whispering* The good news is, he’s the best at what he does.
Wonder Woman: *whispering back* The bad news is, he knows it.
Happy 80th, Brucie.
Batman: *trips over the Lasso of Truth*
Batman: I suppose I like hanging around you guys. I don’t know why.
Superman: Thank you?
Wonder Woman: I’m not sure that was a compliment.
At the Annual Justice League Family Day…
The Batfamily: *enter the picnic area*
Hal [to Barry]: A horde. That’s the minimum. They don’t come in anything less than a horde.
~ • ~ • ~ • ~
Bonus:
Clark and Jon: *walk in with them*
Martha: *clutching a picture frame close to her chest* Bruce, I have a lovely picture of you and Clark for you.
Bruce: No, thanks, Mrs. Kent. I know what we both look like.
Superman: Look, we’re not here to play Good Cop/Batman.
Batman: Hrrn. *cracks knuckles*
Criminal: *gulps*
Bat-
stache
From Mad Magazine No. 7
On sale 4/16
Art by Kerry Callen
incorrect-batfamily-quotes 