Superman: You have eight kids?
Batman: … That I know of.
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The World’s Greatest Detective, everybody.
Tag: clark kent
At a bar…
Bartender: Where’d you get that jacket?
Jason: *sips beer* I was buried in it.
Bartender:
Bartender: *awkwardly moves away*
Idk some Gothamites are wack, they’d probably be into it
Clark Kent, mild-mannered reporter of the Daily Planet, following up on a lead at said bar: Jason? What’re you doing all the way here? Does your fath- Bruce know you’re here?
Superman: *grinning and offering to shake his hand* Damian. It’s a pleasure to finally meet you.
Robin: I imagine it is.
Superman: You know you’re in trouble when Batman thinks you’re in trouble.
Dining out with your best friend be like…
Bruce [to waiter]: I will have a glass of your oakiest chardonnay, please.
Clark: And I will have a waffle with your maple-iest syrup.
At the Watchtower…
Justice League: *watching surveillance, Youtube and news footage on the mainframe computer*
Batman: *walks into the room and sees Nightwing, Red Hood, Red Robin, Robin and Lark (and a bunch of burning buildings and screaming citizens) on the screen*
Superman: *arms crossed*
Wonder Woman: *hands on hips, shaking her head*
Aquaman: *raises an eyebrow*
The Flash: *wide-eyed*
Green Lantern: *biting his lip to suppress a smirk*
Cyborg: Wo-ho-hoooooo.
Batman: Hn.
Batman: Whatever they did, add it to my tab.
Batman: *walks out*
Inviting your best friend to your hometown be like…
Clark: *driving to Smallville* Bruce, I know you have some very definite expectations for this weekend.
Bruce: *on the passenger’s seat* Why do you think that?
Clark: Because you sent me an e-mail three days ago that said, “Clark, I have some very definite expectations for this weekend”.
Superman: *depowered in a Kryptonite-lined cage*
Wonder Woman: *tied up by her own lasso*
The Flash: *weakened by a low blood sugar level*
Green Lantern: *closing and opening a ring-less hand*
Batman: *walks into the room*
Robin: *comes out from under his cape*
Green Lantern: You got a kid with you? Greaaaat. And you’re the ones saving us?
When your cheerful, optimistic super best alien friend just wants to make the most of his time with you…
Batman: Clark, I am dissecting a body in the middle of the night. We are not having a moment.
“Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice” be like…
Superman: Bruce, I am not arguing with you.
Batman: You are arguing now.
Superman: No, I’m not!
Batman: Yes, you are.
Superman: This is not an argument.
Batman: Yes, it is.
Superman: No, it’s not!
Batman: It is.
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